Living With The Bomb
"Out Of Control 1975-2014"
Psychology 404 Summer Quarter 2083
Shawnee State University
"Meaning-Of-Symbols" writing assignment due August 1, 2083
Who would think of masquerading the question of immortality-lost-due-to-sin in the guise of
a mushroom cloud?
Collier thought that a divine "Dream-Maker" might concoct such a metaphor
to serve as a warning in dreams. Spending his lifetime assembling proof of the existence of the
Dream-Maker, Collier determined that the best place to
begin the search for the Dream-Maker - of course - was in his dreams. Evidence of the existence of the Dream-Maker, according to Collier,
lay in the symbols, stories, and epics to be found in his dreams. Collier thought if he could prove that
his dreams contained symbols, messages, and morals, then those phenomena would serve as proof of
the existence of the
Dream-Maker. Collier's initial problem, he discovered, was proving
that his dreams actually contained symbols, messages, and morals.
Dream of:30 June 1975 "Bombs Over Turkey"
sin is callous
The government had somehow taken a picture of me and drafted me into the army. After consenting to enter the ranks of the military, I began residing in a brick building, and I learned that Cu (a Vietnamese fellow whom I had recently met at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio) was living in the town where I was staying. When I looked out my window and saw Cu walking up an outside stairs, I yelled at him, said hello, then descended to the next floor to talk with him. After we had walked into his room and he had turned on the television, Cu asked me if I had eaten my breakfast and I said yes. While he fixed something for himself to eat, I told him that I was now a soldier and that I could now understand how he had once been forced to be a soldier.
I was located close to a river along one side of which the United States had placed troops. I knew that Russia and Turkey had formed an alliance called CETO, and that Turkey was preparing to attack the United States from the other side of the river with land and navel forces. I couldn't believe the United States was being attacked and I also couldn't understand why the United States didn't simply drop an atomic bomb on Turkey. I thought about US troops which were stationed farther back from the river in the rear, and I imagined those troops arranged in lines like Civil War soldiers. Standing on the shore of the river, wishingI were also in the rear, I kept thinking, "So this is war."
While at a nearby location where the soldiers ate, I heard about a drug called Sombu______, which could change a person back into a child. A person must eat a certain apple and drink a certain liquid to undergo the change. I went to the mess hall where I saw a sign which spoke of the efficacy of the drug and I decided to try it. First, however, I wanted to find some different clothes, because I knew if I shrank into a baby, what I was wearing wouldn't fit.
I ate the apple, drank the juice and waited for the magic to work.
Collier focused on "dream-sets" - groups of dreams in which each dream contained the same dream-symbol found in all the other dreams of that dream-set, just as this particular dream-set consists only of dreams which contain a dream-symbol for atomic-destruction. Once Collier had assembled his dream-set, his focus shifted to a short "dream-moral" which he intuitively derived from the entire dream-set. For example, the dream-moral of this atomic-destruction dream-set is "sin can annihilate the soul." Finally, Collier composed his "dream-epic" by composing the commentaries between the dreams of the dream-set.
Dream of:22 December 1980 "Russia And The Bomb"
death is not always a part of the story
My old friend Steve Buckner (whom I first met in 1967 when we attended the tenth grade together at Portsmouth High School in Portsmouth, Ohio) and I had enlisted in a branch of the United States army. After receiving orders to travel to the interior of Russia, we sailed in a large boat down a Russian river until we reached our destination. After briefly meeting several high ranking Russian officers, we traveled back out of the Russian interior until we reached the ocean where we saw many large Russian ships on the horizon. Steve and I concluded that the United States had erred by deploying its armed forces into the interior of the North American continent, while Russia had wisely assembled a massive navy on the ocean. Clearly, if a war were to begin, Russia would now have the unhindered military might to attack the United States.
I expressed my regret to Steve that he and I hadn't become better acquainted with the high ranking Russian officers we had met in the interior. I figured if a war now broke out, the United States would probably lose the war, and Steve and I would lose our lives. If we had become acquainted with the Russian officers, however, we could have joined the Russian army as low ranking soldiers in some obscure battalion, and we could have survived.
After Steve and I traveled back to the United States and disembarked at a seaside city, we walked along the American streets and discussed how Russia wouldn't even have to use atomic weapons - Russia could simply send its planes flying in and strafe the American cities with conventional bombs.
Apparently war had already begun. Many buildings around us had already been hit by bombs and many were ablaze. Fire trucks occupied the streets and the scene was wholly havoc. People were running in all directions and apparently some people had fallen out of buildings. Steve was trying to reach a certain place which I thought might be his home, but the place turned out to only be a mailbox and Steve only wanted to pick up his mail.
When I asked Steve if he had received a letter from me, he said he hadn't received one recently, but that he had received one some time ago. He pulled out some envelopes from the mailbox which contained some pictures and he laid two of the pictures on a table. He had recently had his picture taken and he was trying to decide which picture to buy. The pictures were dark and I couldn't distinguish the features well. I thought the picture he chose looked idiotic.
The meaning of the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" requires some clarification. For Collier, the "annihilation of the soul" meant the utter destruction of the soul at the time of the death of the human body. Some believe the human soul indestructible. Collier, however, challenged the belief in an indestructible soul and came to believe in a destructible soul. His major fear in life became the fear that his soul would be annihilated at the time of the death of his physical body.
Dream of:29 September 1981 "Nuclear Attack"
sin is bad for the soulMy father and my mother, as well as my younger sister Linda and my younger brother Chris (1957-1973), were with me in the House in Patriot (the southeastern Ohio home of my maternal grandparents when I was a child). We were gathered in the living room, listening to a radio broadcast describing a nuclear-bomb attack which would soon decimate the United States. It seemed that several warheads were headed toward the United States, and that one warhead had already struck Dallas.
Alarmed, I immediately decided we should abandon the House. My father and mother, however, indicated that they didn't want to leave. Deciding to depart anyway, I loaded Linda and Chris into the car and, leaving my parents behind, I climbed into the car, started it up, and headed down the road.
I had only driven a short distance when the car malfunctioned and slowed to a crawl. Noticing some well-built modern houses on my left, I pulled into the driveway of one and parked. After stepping from the car, I approached the door of the house, intending to ask someone if I could use a phone to call my mother to come and pick us up. When the door opened for me, however, and I walked into a spacious room, I discovered that the house was actually a military intelligence center. At that moment, the man in charge of the center was trying to decide how the United States should retaliate for the nuclear-weapon attack.
Perhaps a dozen other people, including several women, were also in the room. Two girls were playing a board game, which I also considered playing, before deciding better. Much more than in a game, I was interested in what some of the other people in the room were doing: they were listening to someone on a radio announcing that an island named Philadelphia, off the coast of Florida, would be the next target to be bombed.
Since this house seemed relatively safe, I thought maybe we should all descend to the basement and begin preparing the basement as a bomb shelter. I also began thinking it was time for us all to kneel down and pray to God. I was just about to kneel, when one of the winsome blonde girls who had been playing the board game walked over to me. Standing before me, she allowed me to wrap my arms around her, pull her close to me and kiss her.
If the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" can indeed be derived from Collier's atomic-destruction dream-set, then - I would contend - some element of that moral should be discernible to a greater or lesser extent in each of the atomic-destruction dreams. I would think that at least one of the three central elements - sin, the soul, or death - should be discoverable to some extent in each and every dream.
Dream of: 07 August 1985 "Using Nuclear Weapons"
the power of annihilation is real
I was watching a television program about the death of president Ronald Reagan and about a memorial which a woman in west Texas had created for Reagan. A picture - showing Reagan talking - appeared on the screen. He looked quite young and the way he talked reminded me somewhat of John F. Kennedy. Reagan explained that he wouldn't hesitate to use nuclear weapons if the circumstances demanded it.
I suddenly realized that the image on the screen was actually a camera-shot of a reflection on top of water. The camera revealed that the image was atop the water of a deep well and that under the water - at the bottom of the well - was a picture of Reagan. Light shinning on the picture in the bottom of the well somehow projected the image to the top of the water. People could visit the top of the well and see Reagan's images talking about different things. All the images and sounds were nothing more than a recording.
It seems to me that all the symbols of atomic-destruction in this dream-set intrinsically contain the meaning of "death," and that "death," therefore, is a component of all the symbols of atomic-destruction in this dream-set. When Collier says that "sin can annihilate the soul," he is speaking of the "death" of the immortal soul. Collier believed that the conceptualization of an immortal soul is necessary for the understanding of the meaning of dreams. In order to understand dreams, one must first believe in an immortal soul. He reasoned that if the soul is mortal, then life has no meaning to that mortal person in the first place.
Dream of: 11 May 1986 "Beginning Of An Atomic War"
war is sometimes necessary
I was driving my silver 1984 Volkswagen Rabbit down a dirt road in what appeared to be a foreign country. Many Moslem-looking people were walking along the road. I enjoyed the black Uzi submachine gun (about 40 centimeters long) which I had with me and I felt protected with the gun, even though I was concerned that I wasn't allowed to have such a weapon in this place. I thought one of the groups of Moslem-looking people along the road might try to stop my car, take the gun from me and perhaps even arrest me.
When I reached a place where heavy road machinery – perhaps a grader or a bulldozer – had plowed up part of the road, I was compelled to turn around and drive back past the same groups of Moslems which I had just passed. I was still concerned they might try to stop me, but no one did. After I reached a traffic jam, a white corvette in front of me first sped up and then slowed down more than once, and I was worried that my car might slide into the rear of the Corvette and damage it.
It suddenly occurred to me that the traffic jam was caused by a mass exodus of people who were afraid a war was going to break out. I likewise was in a hurry to depart since I thought the situation was similar to a scenario occurring at the beginning of an atomic war, when a person simply wouldn't be able to exit an area fast enough because so many people were fleeing.
Suddenly a car hit my car in the rear. My car in turn bumped the corvette in front of me, but no damage of any consequence occurred to any of the vehicles.
I finally escaped the traffic jam and reached a place which appeared to be in Germany where many Americans were located. Apparently a war had indeed broken out between the Soviet Union and the United States, and Americans had been sent to Germany to fight against the Russians. After walking into an auditorium, I began preparing for battle.
My immediate superior stepped up to me, picked me out and said he had something for me to do. He took me over to another auditorium where a group of women was stationed. He picked out a thin well-proportioned girl (probably in her late teens) from the women and he asked her to come down to where we were. As she stood beside me, he said he wanted the two of us to prepare a talk about a fair which used to be sponsored by both the United States and the Soviet Union working together. He said we should be prepared to give the talk within three hours, and then he walked away.
When the girl - who seemed intelligent - walked back to where she had been sitting and sat down, I accompanied her. I could feel the eyes of many women - some quite attractive - sitting around us. The girl herself was pretty and I felt rather special being with her.
I didn't know exactly how to write our speech. Since I knew that both Germans and Americans would be in the audience, I wondered whether the speech should be given in German or English. Since we were in Germany and I knew that more Germans than Americans would be in the audience, I concluded that I should give the speech in German. I would make mistakes in German, but I would do adequately well.
I suggested to the girl that she go with me so that she and I could research the subject together. After she agreed, we left and walked outside. When I asked her how she felt about talking in front of thousands of people, the idea didn't appear to bother her. I had some recent practice talking in groups and I thought that giving this speech would be further beneficial practice for me.
I told the girl that I had to find my car and I mentioned the Uzi submachine gun which I had in the car. I said, "I really like this Uzi. I've got it with me."
I couldn't tell whether she was impressed. We began looking for my car, but I couldn't remember exactly where I had parked. I knew there was a certain parking lot where cars had to be backed in and I thought my car was there. We headed in that direction.
The soul can also be found weaving itself through Collier's atomic-destruction dream-set. Just as death seems to lurk in all Collier's atomic-destruction dreams, so does the soul. For the soul to be found, the soul must first exist. One of Collier's maxims states, "Dreams are the written proof of the existence of the soul." Collier asked how the existence of the soul could be denied in the presence of written dreams and he proclaimed that written dreams were proof enough of the existence of the soul. Dreams were of the essence of the soul. The existence of the soul was not something to be argued, but something to be accepted as fact.
Dream of: 30 June 1986 "Safety From Atomic Weapons"
death is not always certain
I was workingin an underground area inside a mountain at a job which was part of a construction project of the United States government to build a place safe against atomic weapons. Tunnels had been cut throughout the mountain which itself had been partially built by dirt excavated from the interior of the mountain and piled on top of the mountain.
Many other people, including a number of security personnel, were also working.
I found a map which pictured the mountain and which displayed a cut-away view of tunnels in the mountain. Different numbers were written on the map for different levels of the mountain. I had seen the map discussed before in a manual, but I was still unsure what the numbers represented. The numbers went up to 100 and I thought they might represent the number of atomic bombs necessary to be dropped on the mountain to penetrate to certain levels.
Although removal of maps from the area wasn't permitted, I decided to smuggle the map out anyway. I folded it up into a very tiny square and stuck it into the watch-pocket of my blue jeans.
As the day continued, a short part of a movie entitled The Development of a Mushroom Cloud was exhibited. The part of the movie which I saw revealed an atomic missile landing and penetrating the earth. The mushroom cloud had just begun to form when the segment ended.
I ran into a fellow whom I hadn't seen working in this underground project before. Apparently he was a new maintenance man replacing another maintenance man. When I approached him and asked him if he were the new maintenance man, he replied affirmatively.
At the end of a day's work - when it was time to leave - I began gathering my things which included a pair of leather brogan boots and my heavy, white, wool sweater. I walked to a large elevator where a long line of people was slowly loading to leave.
Instead of getting in line, I walked into a small room in front of the elevator where a fellow was sitting in a fold-up chair and watching the line slowly trek past. Tired, I sat down in a fold-up chair next to the fellow. I tried to pull on my boots, but I simply couldn't seem to fit them on. Finally everyone had loaded onto the elevator. When people began hollering for me to hurry, I couldn't seem to assemble all of my things quickly enough. Running to catch the closing door, I first tried to stick my boot in the elevator doorway to stop the door, then I managed to stick my fingers in the doorway. As the door reopened, I thought I had caught my boot in the doorway, but I saw that someone else's boot – a tan-colored boot darker than mine – was actually caught in the doorway, but the boot wasn't impeding the functioning of the elevator door.
I boarded the elevator which headed up instead of down - the direction I wanted to go. I thought if I had waited, I could have simply caught the elevator on its way back down. Suddenly I realized I had left my sweater lying behind and I knew I would need to stop on the way back down to pick it up because the sweater was the only good one which I had.
When I heard someone in the back of the elevator making a sound, "Baa, baa," like a sheep, I somewhat felt as if we were all crowded together like sheep.
I was concerned about carrying the map with me because I thought that having the map was a breach of security and that I could probably go to jail if I were apprehended. Nevertheless, I still wanted to have the map to hang on my wall to look at.
A fellow in the elevator asked me if I would like to go "tracking" the next morning with him. It was already about three in the morning and he was going to leave about six. When I told him I didn't want to go, I recalled that I had had some recent dreams about tracking and I wondered why.
I wondered what the fellow intended to track and in my mind I began imagining lions running through the jungle leaving their tracks behind. I also imagined tracking around my one-room log Cabin (which I built in 1979 on my paternal grandparents' Farm in Gallia County, Ohio). I knew not many animals would be on the Farm and I thought that tracking would be difficult there. Tracking a lion would be difficult enough, but tracking a smaller animal such as might be found on the Farm would be even more difficult.
Of death, the soul, and sin, the element "sin" in the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" is the most difficult for me to envision. I can only conclude, however, that atomic-destruction seems to be "per se" sinful, and that the slaughter of innocent people by atomic-destruction is intrinsically sinful. Thus I believe that sin finds itself in all dreams of the atomic-destruction dream-set.
Dream of: 31 July 1986 "A Series Of Wars"
history is more than a series of wars
After being away from Dallas for quite a while, I had returned to the Dallas County courthouse and was walking around the halls. After I saw judge Schwille talking with someone, I walked into Schwille's courtroom. I wanted to tell Schwille that I had returned to Dallas from Europe and that I was thinking about working again as a lawyer in his courtroom. Schwille finally asked me how I was doing and I responded, "Fine."
I told him I would like to talk with him and he said, "Sure."
After Schwille and I walked back to his chambers where the television was turned on, he said there had apparently been some problems in Atlanta. On the TV was a picture of what appeared to be a large ferry boat which had capsized close to the shore. The water had just begun to spill over the side of the boat and all the crew members (about fifteen) jumped from the boat into the water. When the boat finally sank under the water, I was unsure if the sinking boat was the incident in Atlanta which Schwille had mentioned or if the incident in Atlanta had been something else.
I told Schwille I would definitely like to start working in his court again. When I asked him if it would be ok, he said it would be just fine. He seemed happy to see that I had returned.Some other people were also in the room. We sat in silence for a while.
A picture appeared on the TV showing some boys exercising. They performed back flips, ran, and flipped into the air.
When I asked Schwille if he were much interested in history, he said he was and he talked about history's being a series of wars. He said there was a major war about every three years. I began thinking that although such a frequency of wars had been true in the past, the frequency of wars had vastly changed since the invention of atomic weapons. Wars still occurred, but they weren't major wars.
Schwille maintained that more than two world wars had been fought in the history of the world, but that we hadn't begun counting the wars as world wars until this century.
When we finished talking, it was time for Schwille to go out into the courtroom. I told him I wasn't going to do any work today because I wasn't wearing a suit. Thinking I could make extra money by working as a lawyer today, however, I reflected, "I might ought to just run home and put on a suit. It would be an extra hundred dollars."
We continued talking, but as we walked into the courtroom, I realized I wasn't going to stay, so I broke away from Schwille and I walked down the hallway. I didn't want to run into anyone right now – especially not my ex-wife Bonnie, who, being a lawyer herself, might be here in the courthouse. I felt strange about having returned to Dallas to practice law again, but I was here now and I would just have to go ahead and do it.
Although Collier's theories regarding the nature of dream-symbols might be familiar to certain dream-cognoscenti today, the general public has received Collier's work more for his writing abilities than for his theories of symbols. He is closer to Sherwood Anderson in his proclivities than to Carl Jung. He would explain the atomic-destruction dream-symbol more by story than by psychological theory. He was fond of stating that "symbols cannot be logically understood."
Dream of:23 October 1988 "Catastrophic Atomic War""
sin is the cause of war
I was in the House in Patriot. A catastrophe - perhaps an atomic war - had wiped out almost all the world's population. About fifteen people who had also survived the catastrophe were all living together with me in the House.
I was sitting on the floor with my back against a couch. I had a blanket over me and a blue sheet under me on the floor. One person was sitting next to me on one side and another person on the other side. Suddenly the person on my left (a fellow probably in his late 20s) pulled the sheet out from under me; he seemed to want to claim the sheet completely for himself. A struggle ensued and after we both rose to our feet, he charged at me and I sidestepped him. He flew through the air over the couch and smashed his head into the wall so hard, it appeared he must have been injured.
When the atmosphere quieted back down, I began thinking about my situation there. Ostensibly I was the group's leader to whom the others looked for guidance. I realized the first priority was going to be food, which might be rather difficult to obtain, because most food had been destroyed in the catastrophe. I thought it might be possible to gather wild food with which to make salads. Perhaps some raspberries could be found. Plus it seemed to me that canned food might be in the basement. Someone told me that edible crabs were in the basement, but I doubted that.
I believed other groups of survivors were in other places and I thought it might be necessary for my group and me to venture out to find the other groups. In fact, I thought money was probably still used and - since we did have some money - we might be able to buy food. Problematically we didn't know how much things would cost now and what the value of money was. I also thought my mother might be in a group of people in a town about 30 kilometers away. Maybe I could contact her and she could give me some help.
Traveling with the group might be dangerous. Other groups might attack us, just as American Indians used to attack pioneers. I could visualize Indians standing on cliffs looking down at my passing group.
Being a story-teller, Collier immersed himself in the art of story-telling. He concluded that stories could only be created by some form of intelligence, and if stories were indeed to be found within his dreams, they could only have been created by a conscious intelligence. Since Collier knew that he himself did not create his dreams, he reasoned that the creator of his dreams and the dream-stories therein, was the Dream-Maker. This logical conclusion, however, did not satisfy him.
Dream of:19 August 1989 "Mushroom Clouds"
warnings are blessings
My old buddy Roger Anderson (whom I had known since we met in the 10th grade of high school in Portsmouth in 1967) and I were traveling in a car north from Fort Worth and were planning to travel to southern California. We stopped for gas, intending to use one of Roger's credit cards, but for some reason, Roger wasn't able to use the card himself, and he wanted me to use it. Although my name wasn't on the card, my father's name was, and since my first and last names were the same as my father's - "Leroy _______ Collier" - , we thought we could successfully use the card. Having pumped the gas, I presented the credit card to a woman behind the counter. After I also gave her my Texas driver's license, she wrote up the ticket without paying attention to the fact that my father's middle name was different from mine.
When Roger and I mentioned to the woman that we were headed to southern California, she provided some directions on the map. We re-boarded our car and pulled out of the gas station, still marveling over how we had been able to use the credit card without being detected.
We continued in the car until we finally pulled over at an elaborately built swimming pool with clear blue water and rocks in the middle forming an artificial island. I told Roger this was the pool at which I had wanted to stop earlier, instead of at another pool where we had ended up stopping.
A car was actually in the pool on the other side. It looked as if a ramp had permitted the car to be driven right into the water, although I was unsure why anyone would want to drive a car into the water. No one was swimming in the pool at the moment. I wasn't positive, but I felt sure that swimming was allowed. I also noticed the water level was much higher in the middle of the pool than on the edges. I had never seen that phenomenon before.
Suddenly looking back south in the direction of Fort Worth, I was shocked to see a long slender mushroom cloud rising into the air, obviously from an atomic weapon. The cloud was dark like a typical cloud of smoke, but was so large that it obviously must have originated from an atomic weapon. I pointed out the cloud to Roger who also looked in amazement. I realized that if we had we been in Fort Worth, we would be dead now. Looking around me, I saw four more mushroom clouds in a semi circle around us on the north and east. Only the west was devoid of mushroom clouds. The four new clouds were lower and smaller, but were also obviously from atomic weapons.
I was afraid we might be receiving dangerous dosages of radiation just by looking at the clouds. Obviously we must leave immediately and head for the opening in the west.
"The story is the life of the universe" is another one of Collier's colorful maxims in later life. When he began his search for dream-epics in dream-sets, he concentrated on one dream-symbol at a time, such as elephants, mirrors, or diamonds. At first he thought all his dreams which contained that dream-symbol could be woven together into a meaningful work of art, but he found the task much more daunting than he had originally imagined. The essential dream-morals in those initial dream-sets proved more elusive than in his later masterpieces where the dream-moral shines through his entangling commentaries which weave the dreams together. Collier always claimed he was an artist, not a scientist.
Dream of:14 March 1990 "Exploding Atomic Bomb"
choose light over darkness
I had returned to Portsmouth and had gone to visit Doug Clifford (whom I had known since we had been classmates in the seventh grade of junior high school in Portsmouth in 1964). Clifford (about 20 years old), now married to Peggy Walker (who had been in that same seventh grade class with us), was in what appeared to be a wood-working shop which he had set up on Chillicothe Street, in the area where I would have expected Tindal's Sign Shop to be. Apparently Clifford was now a wood-worker. I found him in the basement of the shop, and although we hadn't seen each other in many years, we communicated quite well with each other.
I was anxious to tell Clifford about a dream I had just had the night before. In the dream, while he and I had been talking together on the second floor of a building, the building had begun rocking, as if it had been shaken by an earthquake. One wall of our room had been missing, so I had been able to look out onto the street and see other buildings also rocking, and I had heard what sounded like air raid sirens. Suddenly Clifford had shouted out something about its being January the twentieth - apparently something was supposed to happen to us on January the twentieth. In the dream, Clifford had said something about going to the bomb shelter and then he had jumped out of the building and landed on the street. After I had jumped out behind him, I discovered that he had ducked around the corner, apparently headed for a bomb shelter. I had intended to follow him, but I had suddenly seen a plane which was flying low over our heads and carrying a large bomb under it. The plane had suddenly dropped the bomb and I had seen it land right next to me. It had been too late for me to do anything, because the bomb had been an atomic bomb and it had been ready to explode. I had seen a flash of light, and then I had awakened from my dream. Now I was anxious to tell Clifford about the dream.
I also wanted to talk with him about an incident which I at first recalled having occurred in the sixth grade, then recalled its having actually occurred in the seventh grade. I told Clifford how at that time I had been attracted to Peggy and how I used to walk Peggy home from school. I had never told Peggy that I was attracted to her, but finally one day, Peggy told some people at school that she liked me. From that point on, I never talked to Peggy again, and I hadn't talked to her in all the intervening years. Clifford seemed somewhat surprised to hear my story. Apparently Peggy had never told it to him.
I felt guilty about what I had done by never talking to Peggy again after she had said she liked me, and I remembered I had also had a dream in which I had told Peggy about how bad I felt. I was now anxious to see Peggy again and tell her how guilty I had felt for so many years, and how I had really liked her. I even thought about gathering together all the dreams in which Clifford and Peggy had appeared and giving them to them to read.
I asked Clifford if he had liked Peggy at the time when I had liked her. I distinctly remembered having talked on the phone with Clifford about Peggy. I had had the feeling then that he had liked her, and then of course he had gone on to marry her. I was curious about when he had actually begun liking her.
Other people who appeared to be family members of Clifford showed up in the basement, apparently to work. As Clifford and I stood in an area which seemed somewhat like a kitchen, Peggy walked in smiling. She was a bit plump, and looked as if she were about 30 years old. She looked quite different; I hardly recognized her. I wanted to talk to her and I had the feeling that she also wanted to talk with me, but that she felt somewhat embarrassed about it. She walked past me, and as she did, she touched me on the elbow with her hand. I was wearing a short sleeve shirt, and I understood then that she wanted to talk with me.
I had a good feeling from both of them, as if they were long lost friends with whom I was going to renew my friendship. Now when I returned to Portsmouth I would have someone with whom to talk; that made me feel good.
Collier opined that "the story gives meaning to life." While Collier's maxims regarding stories proliferated, his personal story focused on "eternal life." He reasoned that all the stories of the universe were meaningless for him unless he had eternal life. Only two concepts stood between him and eternal life: 1. the possibility that there was no eternal life to begin with and that his soul would naturally be annihilated the same moment as his body, or 2. the possibility that his soul would be annihilated because "sin can annihilate the soul." Since he rejected the first proposition outright, the only impediment he saw between himself and eternal life was sin.14 August 1990 "Middle Of A Nuclear War"
the meaning is in the future
I found myself living in a room in a city which I identified as Brussels, Belgium. I was thinking about all the magnificent buildings and sculptures I could look at in the city if I would search them out. As I looked out my window, I realized that two large buildings - perhaps churches - were just across the street, quite splendid in appearance and decorated with numerous stone carvings.
I was uncertain whether I would stay in Brussels, but I thought this area of the world had always pleased me. I figured most people would be speaking French, and I would enjoy that. It seemed as if I might just stay.
I was in an apartment of a tall apartment building. It was night and the lights were on in the apartment. It was gradually becoming clear to me that a war had begun. Although a nuclear bomb had been dropped on the city, the city hadn't been completely destroyed, and most buildings, although damaged, were still standing. As I looked out the window at a tall building on the other side of the street, I realized that no lights were on in that building. It suddenly occurred to me that enemy troops had already invaded the city and that they were probably looking for lights in windows to determine where people still were.
Alarmed, I walked into the bedroom, stepped to the closet and pulled a revolver off a top shelf from under some white clothes. I stared at the revolver which had two small red bullets in its chambers, but they weren't next to each other and I thought I needed to load the gun so the bullets would be right next to each other. I retrieved another revolver from a place where I knew it had been hidden. The second revolver was smaller than the first, but both had brown, wooden handles. I walked down the hall with a gun in each hand, thinking how I looked somewhat like a cowboy ready for action.
As I listened to a radio broadcast, I hoped some news would be broadcast about the bombing, but finally I realized that the news was from the day before, and that no mention was made of the bombing. I also began to remember that I was actually about 40 years in the future from where I had been, and I was now in the middle of a nuclear war. I definitely wanted to return to my own time.
I thought that Germany was the country responsible for the war, and that perhaps this time Germany would be hit by nuclear weapons and most of its population destroyed. Thinking that Germany would probably be divided up this time between France and Poland, I began picturing what the new map of Europe would look like.
Some critics do not even believe in dream-symbols. For them, a thing in a dream is simply that thing and does not stand for anything else. An atomic bomb is simply an atomic bomb. To think that an abstruse dream-message can be sent in a dream through the assistance of dream-symbols is laughable for those critics. Even more laughable for them is the concept of weaving together many dreams containing the same dream-symbol into a congruent dream-epic. Yet despite the criticism, the weaving of dream-epics is exactly the method which Collier pioneered and which led him to create dream-epics with such magical mastery.
Dream of: 19 July 1992 "Nuclear Bomb Tests"
religion is a proper subject of art
I was on a trip with a class of students. We had ridden to a strip of land (about five kilometers wide) which stretched latitudinally along the center of Texas where nuclear bomb tests had been conducted. The leader of the trip seemed to be Mrs. Thompson (my eighth or ninth grade art teacher), but she was actually Molly Bartholow (an attorney in her mid 40s who served as federal trustee for reorganization bankruptcy cases in Dallas in the early 1990s).
We were all on a bus which resembled a flat-bed truck and as we rode along, I was absorbed by some of the nuclear bomb test sights which I saw. When someone hollered out that some bunkers were nearby, I noticed small buildings - mostly submerged in the ground - which apparently were created from stone. When our bus finally reached a large cemetery, I thought many of the people buried in the cemetery had probably worked on the nuclear project. I was extremely impressed by what I saw in the cemetery: a series of large statues which seemed to go on for a great distance. One particularly large statue - constructed from strips of metal fashioned together to resemble a person holding a torch - looked like something which Salvador Dalí might have created.
Among several small clusters of statues stood a group of gray statues while another group of small statues appeared to be sculpted from marble. Many statues looked like crosses, and one large statue depicted Jesus Christ. One incomplete statue of a cross was being cut from a block of granite, but only half the cross had been chipped out of the granite. Several other statues also looked as if they might have been created by Dalí.
Tired of sitting on the flat bed, I climbed off and ran alongside the truck. Bartholow said the truck wasn't equipped for that kind of thing, but I pointed out that other people were also running beside the truck. She didn't say anything more about my running, but she did mention that I hadn't taken part in a previous trip to another location. I hadn't thought the previous trip would be interesting, but I found this trip extremely interesting.
As we continued along, we passed a parked bus from which people appeared to be disembarking to walk among the statues in the cemetery. I suggested to Bartholow that we also stop, but she didn't seem interested in stopping, so our truck simply continued moving.
Through trial and error, Collier learned that the dream-epic was that which he sought in his dreams. To compose his dream-epics, Collier needed to first discover the dream-moral of a particular dream-set. Entranced by the dream-morals which he discovered in his dream-sets, he viewed the dream-epics which he composed as revelations. In the end, Collier defined a new concept: the "dream-epic" - a new art form. Whereas a dream-moral intuited from a dream-set is short, a dream-epic is long. For example, the short dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" of this dream-set infuses this long dream-epic.
Dream of: 05 May 1994 "Building A Nuclear Bomb"
take control of your destiny
I had been looking for my first cousin Jimmy Halley, who was supposed to be my boss on a construction job. After failing to find Jimmy at one location, I arrived at a white house-trailer where I thought he might be working. When I walked into the front room of the trailer and saw that Jimmy wasn't there, I was just about to leave, when I decided to look into a small side room. I opened the door and saw a bed in the room with no one in it. Just as I was about to shut the door, I noticed a couch against the wall with a cover which appeared to be covering someone. I walked over to the couch, and there I found Jimmy under the cover.
After I told him we needed to get to work, I picked up an intricate-looking device about 30 centimeters in diameter, and I quickly concluded that the device was a nuclear bomb on which Jimmy had been working. After pushing some buttons on the bomb, I asked Jimmy if I had activated it. I thought if I had, I would see digital numbers appear somewhere on the bomb, indicating when the bomb would explode. I did not, however, see any digital numbers, and Jimmy indicated that I hadn't activated the bomb.
Jimmy and I boarded a car and headed toward our work site. Although we were near Patriot, Ohio, I was surprised that we could see Austin, Texas in the distance. I hadn't realized that Austin was so close to Patriot. As we passed a large industrial complex on our left where a sign read, "Chemicals R R Future," I reflected that the use of "R R" - instead of "are our" - was clever.
As we rode on, I began thinking about the project on which Jimmy and I were working. We had built a nuclear bomb which we were planning to detonate and we were trying to decide where we would detonate the bomb. We thought about a deserted area, then thought about detonating it in the atmosphere. Finally we decided we would launch a rocket into space and detonate the nuclear bomb in space where it could be viewed by everyone.
Jimmy and I needed to work quickly since we knew that the authorities were already aware of our nuclear activity and that they were trying to locate our launch site. I was also thinking we might need to launch three rockets, all of which would fire lasers at the point where the bomb would be located. We therefore needed to launch the laser-carrying rockets as soon as possible before the authorities found and destroyed our rockets.
The dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" contains the element of sin. Some mysterious power must lie behind sin in order for a soul to be annihilated by the power of sin. Yet the concept of the destructive power of sin is certainly not a new thought. As religious-minded people have done for millennia, so Collier simply accepted the concept of sin without an attempt of proof. Sin, like the soul itself, was something which Collier felt emotionally, not something which he could rationally prove. As long as Collier feared the destruction of his soul, so would sin be a guiding force in his life.
Dream of: 23 October 1994 "City Struck By Nuclear Bomb"
sin is the great disrupter
I had moved back to Ohio into a home not far from a medium-sized brick church which I decided to visit with my mother. I particularly wanted to go to the church because I wanted to sing. I had the feeling that quite a few older women went to the church, but not many men. I would sing in a deep voice and I would make a welcome addition to the song.
My mother and I arrived and took a seat in one of the pews - she was seated on my left. I quickly realized that I had entered the church without shoes and that I was only wearing gray socks. For some reason I had taken off my shoes outside and I had failed to put them back on. Although I didn't think my being shoeless would make much difference to anyone there, I was embarrassed that I also wasn't wearing a shirt. Instead of a shirt, I had wrapped a blue blanket around me. I didn't know why I had been so foolish as not to wear a shirt, but I tried not to let it bother me.
The singing began and everyone stood up. Perhaps 30 people were in the church when we started, but the church continued to fill until finally perhaps 100 people were present. Both my mother and I pulled out hymn books and tried to find the song being sung. Although I couldn't find the song at first, I tried to sing along anyway, I was so anxious to sing. I could tell that my voice would make a definite difference in the total sound produced by us all. However, I couldn't find the song in my hymnal until the song was almost finished, so my performance was uneven at best.
Another song began. Again I had trouble finding the song in the hymnal, and before I could find it, the congregation sat down. Only a woman standing in front facing us continued singing. Apparently she was singing solo. The white-haired woman - she must have been in her 80s - wasn't a good singer. Although I was anxious to sing myself, I sat down like the others and waited for her to finish.
When the next song began, the church was fuller and quite a few black people were also sitting near the front of the church. The sight of the black people made me feel more at home in the church and I was happy to be in a church where blacks and whites comingled. I felt as if this were going to become my church, and as if I would begin coming here regularly. I would get to know all the people in the church and become part of the church community.
When the song finished, a casually dressed man (probably in his early 30s) walked down the aisle and greeted people. I had expected something like that to happen, since I knew that in most churches someone usually greeted new people. When he reached me, he appeared somewhat surprised to see me wrapped in a blanket. I felt embarrassed and I wanted to explain to him that I didn't always dress like that, but he continued on without prying into the reasons for my attire.
From where I was sitting I could look through a large window over the surrounding countryside. In the far distance I could see the skyline of a city, and I could make out a large tower, almost like a castle, near the city. I was suddenly stunned to witness a resplendent flash of light in the city, followed by a column of smoke. After another flash followed, I watched the tower break in the middle and fall to the ground. I Immediately concluded that a war had begun and that the city had been struck by a nuclear bomb. I called to the others in the church and pointed out what I had seen. I cried out that we must leave the church - which could easily be bombed - and that we must flee to a smaller house.
Pandemonium ensued as people rushed to the door. I raced outside, looked around, and tried to decide where to go. I could see a small house not far away and I hollered to the others to go there, but people were running in every direction without seeming to know where they were headed. Some people headed toward another larger building, but I thought that going to that building was a bad idea because the building would be such an easy target. I continued toward the small house.
Suddenly I realized two fighter jets were flying overhead. Realizing that the people who continued running would make easy targets, I ducked down on the ground. It looked as if the jets were going to drop some bombs. I looked at the small house ahead of me, determined to try to make it there.
It must be remembered that the annihilation of the soul of which Collier spoke was not an impairment of the living soul caused by the wages of sin, but the actual annihilation of the immortal soul at the time of the death of the physical body. Collier came to believe that the accumulation of sin could cause the annihilation of the soul. Although the proposition is difficult to comprehend, it is essentially similar to the way popular religions define the effect of sin on the soul after death of the physical body.
Dream of: 11 December 1994 "Envisioned Atomic Bomb"
sin has many forms
I was in a large old European-styled city with old, but not tall, buildings. I didn't see any skyscrapers, but I did notice large plazas paved with dark brown bricks. Suddenly the area around me filled with commotion, and I felt the ground coming apart as if from an earthquake which I knew was man-made and not the result of a natural phenomenon. I closed my eyes and envisioned an atomic bomb exploding in the middle of the city. People were running in all directions from the blast area which was about the size of a city block.
When I opened my eyes, I had an aerial view of the city below me. I focused on one particular plaza where people were scrambling every which way. The street itself began rising at one end of the plaza as if something were tunneling underneath the street toward the plaza. Buildings on both sides of the plaza began falling, obviously killing people.
The thing beneath the surface continued tunneling through the plaza, causing bricks to be raised and flung into the air. One police officer, dressed like a London Bobbie, attempted to maintain calm in the chaos and walked to the center of the plaza. When the earth and bricks rose up around him, a fissure was created, as if from an earthquake, and he fell into it. The fissure closed back, crushing the Bobbie, who didn't even scream.
As I stood on the street amidst the surrounding chaos and confusion, I finally realized what was happening. The government was testing a new device, using all the people as guinea pigs, and sacrificing their lives. At first I had difficulty understanding how the government could do this to its own people, but then I realized this was the simple reality of the future age in which I was living - for I was in the future.
A woman stepped up and began complaining. I listened but I didn't say anything, since I realized that the government had spies everywhere and that anyone who complained would be summarily punished. The woman herself might even be an agent trying to elicit complaints against the government.
I made my way to a nice large adobe house, painted in fading white, the home of my wife's parents.The house - damaged by the tunneling device - had many rooms, some of which I'd never entered. Walking into the back yard, I saw a pale white Cadillac precariously perched on the side of a crevice, almost ready to topple in. When I walked back into the house, my wife, obviously upset, approached me, but she wouldn't tell me what was bothering her. I pulled her close to me, hugged her and told her to tell me the problem.
She explained that her parents (who I had thought were quite wealthy) were having problems collecting insurance for the damage to the house. I was unsure, but I thought the total damage was around $2,400. At any rate, the man who had sold my in-laws the insurance had returned and told them he had obtained the insurance from the wrong company. He had told my in-laws that he should have informed them of this fact when they had first bought the insurance, but he had failed to do so. The man had explained that now they would have difficulty being paid for the damages.
I immediately told my wife to gather all the papers and bring them to me. I had some legal skill. Although I no longer charged people for legal help, I did occasionally help people who needed such help. In this particular case, I would need to look at the papers to determine exactly what the insurance covered. I would ask my in-laws if they had read their policy. Since I knew that most people didn't read their policies, my in-laws probably wouldn't know what was in their policy. I, however, would be able to understand the policy and determine whether the man who had sold them the insurance had breached any duty. I sadly realized that if the man who had sold the insurance was liable, his liability would probably not benefit my in-laws, because he was probably insolvent. My in-laws needed to be protected by the insurance company. At least I would be able to tell them where they stood.
My wife and I were standing in a room apparently in the basement. Stairs leading up were on two opposite sides of the room. When my wife finally left, I walked into an adjoining bedroom. I couldn't remember if I had ever been in the room, but I thought perhaps I had been in it a long time ago. I just wanted to look around and see what was there. The room was dark and I didn't turn on any lights. However, I did notice on one wall a small, ornamental animal head designed for hanging clothes.
The room somehow seemed to portray the state of my wife's parents. Although still nice, the room was clearly beginning to deteriorate.
"To prove the message is to prove the messenger," claimed one of Collier's maxims. Collier later clarified that a dream-message did not actually prove that a Dream-Maker existed, only that the Dream-Maker had at one time existed. It was possible that the dream-messages in Collier's dreams had been created previously by a Dream-Maker which no longer existed. Collier, however, believed that the Dream-Maker actually existed and that the Dream-Maker had actual contact with Collier's soul. Collier also believed that the Dream-Maker poured some of the Dream-Maker's essence into the dream-morals in Collier's dream-sets from which Collier was able to extract his dream-epics. His dream-epics themselves became Collier's most expressive proof of this ghostly Dream-Maker.
Dream of:12 October 1995 "Chance Of A Nuclear War"
dismantling war is a noble act
I was visiting a fellow who had been sentenced to life in prison for causing two United States jet fighters to crash. This was the last opportunity I would have to talk with the fellow before he was sent to prison. I was uncertain whether he had been flying himself, or whether he had been on the ground, when he had downed the two jets. As we talked, I was thinking that his only chance of ever leaving prison was the outbreak of a nuclear war. When I asked him if he had any hope of ever leaving prison, he immediately responded that there was a chance of a nuclear war.
As he freely spoke about the reason for his conviction, he also mentioned that one time previously he had traveled north to Canada and had transported drugs into the United States. A police woman standing nearby could hear him talking, but his admission made no difference now since he had already been sentenced. When we had finished talking, and he was led away, I began thinking of him differently. At first I had thought he had committed a heinous act, but now I realized that destroying war planes was a noble act. Imagining what destroying a plane would be like, I envisioned a group of eight fighter planes sitting next to each other on the ground and I wondered how they could be destroyed.
After departing, I found myself walking with other people through a desert area. Up ahead of me I could see eight jet fighters lined up on the ground. I thought jet fighters were usually arranged in groups like this. Suddenly, to my amazement, a jet passenger plane fell from the sky right onto the eight jet fighters. I wished I had had a camera to take a picture of what I had just seen. Everyone walking with me began running and falling down. Shots and explosions rang out. Since this place was obviously also an ammunition dump, I decided I had better start running also.
If one accepts the proposition that dreams have some psychological purpose, it can be argued that the purpose of Collier's atomic-destruction dreams was to instill fear into Collier, and that the central emotive purpose of these dreams was the instillation of fear. Admitting that dreams have purpose, however, is exactly what cannot be done, because the simple phrase "dreams have purpose" is exactly what Collier was trying to prove. Collier "believed" that dreams had purpose, but he wanted to "prove" that dreams had purpose - believing and proving, of course, being quite different in nature. Collier clung to his belief that proof that dreams had purpose would be strong evidence of an intelligent design in the dreams by a Dream-Maker. To proclaim, therefore that the purpose of atomic-destruction dreams was to instill fear in Collier, would therefore imply that a form of intelligence had intended to frighten Collier with the atomic-destruction dreams. The existence of an intelligent Dream-Maker was exactly what Collier believed, yet was unable to logically prove.
profits from war are ill-gained
I was in a rocky forested region covered with snow. Standing on a ledge about ten meters above me was a large black bear. Although I knew the bear could be dangerous if provoked, I didn't think it would attack me if I threw some snowballs at it. I picked up one handful of snow after another and pressed the snow into snowballs which I threw at the bear and which broke on the bear's black chest. At first the bear didn't seem to mind, but then I had the feeling that the bear was becoming perturbed and that it was getting ready to attack me.
Apprehensive, I turned around and escaped into an immense cave with a ceiling perhaps 50 meters high. The cave was lit up, and I could see many other men - dressed in military garb - engaged in military activity and moving about.
When someone suddenly cried out that a bomb was near the front of the cave, the other military men and I quickly scuttled to the rear of the cave and crouched down. The bomb exploded, lighting every recess of the cave with tremendous light. When the light subsided, I looked back toward the entrance, and to my amazement, I saw that the bomb hadn't exploded in the cave at all, but far away. I could see through the cave entrance to the far horizon where a mushroom cloud, obviously from a nuclear blast probably 20-30 kilometers away, was visible.
Only now did I notice small rooms with glass doors in the rear of the cave. A man who looked like Paul Newman stepped out of one room. When another man rushed up, the Newman look-alike said he had just made a bundle of money on the stock market. Apparently he had been buying and selling stock even as the nuclear explosion had taken place. The man who had rushed up cried, "Oh you fool!," and then explained that the stock market had obviously crashed due to the outbreak of nuclear hostilities.
At first, trading stock during a nuclear war seemed absurd to me, but on further reflection, I wondered if such trading were so foolish. After all, when the war was over, someone would have to own the stock.
Collier left no record of the process by which he intuited the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" from his atomic-destruction dream-set; he left behind only the bare assertion of that particular dream-moral. His method in intuiting the dream-moral from this dream-set is undoubtedly a result of a method which Collier described as "forced interpretation." Under the forced-interpretation method, Collier first "forced" from his mind the "symbol-meaning" for a dream-symbol in a given dream. After forcing the symbol-meanings from the various dream-symbols in the given dream, he would force his mind to more clearly see the "dream-story" of the entire dream. From the dream-story he then forced the "dream-message," the short maxims which he appended to the beginning of his dreams. He seems to have followed this same approach with the dream-sets which he collected. From his dream-sets he forced his dream-morals, upon which he ultimately based his new art form: the dream-epic.
Dream of: 30 September 1996 "Atomic Bomb Alert"
there is no escape from the karma of sin
The news wasn't quite clear. In an hour my home would be destroyed by an atomic bomb. I didn't know whether the bomb had already exploded and an hour would elapse before the blast reached my home, or whether the bomb would be dropped in an hour.
I was in the Summerdale Drive House (a ranch-style house in Hurst, Texas into which I had moved in 1993). Two cities east of me - Arlington and Irving - apparently had been the targets of the bombs. I was uncertain whether the cities had already actually been bombed, or were going to be bombed. It seemed most likely that Arlington had already been hit, and Irving would be next.
These facts were important to me because my wife Carolina worked in the news room of a television station in Irving. I was disconcerted because Carolina had earlier insisted on going to work, even though she had known of the probability that the atomic bombs would be dropped. Now there was no time for me to try to save her. My only chance of survival was to immediately jump into my car and head in the opposite direction from Carolina and the bombs.
I glanced around the living room. I certainly had many possessions in the House which I would have to leave behind, but strangely, leaving the possessions didn't bother me. I found myself much less attached to my belongings than I would have expected. I grabbed my keys and my billfold, knowing I must have those. The only other things I picked up were a few pieces of paper which contained poems which I had been memorizing. One poem was written in Greek. If I were going to be leaving for unknown parts, the poems would probably be a comfort to me on the way.
With my pet Dalmatian by my side, I hurried outside and toward my car. My quiet suburban neighborhood was abuzz. People were scurrying out of their brick homes and hastily loading possessions into their cars. I quickly realized my worst problem now would be the traffic, with thousands of people rushing to get out of town. I needed to think about the direction I was going and what road I would travel. It might be better to stay off the main roads, which would probably be clogged, and instead to head down the back streets which would have less traffic.
Just as I was about to board my car, I saw the next-door neighbor - a friendly woman nearing retirement age - also loading her car and preparing to leave. I told her that she should head south, but then I stopped and reflected that heading west might be best, or even northwest. I mentioned that she definitely shouldn't go east. She was smiling and seemed rather nonchalant about the whole thing, as if it would work itself out.
After I had climbed behind the steering wheel of my little red car, she walked up to the passenger-side window, which was down, and lifted a small white dog with a few brown spots through the window. I immediately saw what she was trying to do. This little dog belonged to her, but she apparently was unable to take it with her, and she wanted me to save it. I immediately said I was sorry, but that I was unable to take the dog, and I insisted that she take the dog out of the car, which she did. I felt no remorse. Taking on another dog at this delicate point simply wasn't practical. I began pulling out of my driveway.
As I drove through a residential area, sticking to the back streets, I was relieved to see that the roads weren't filled with traffic, even though more and more people were pulling into the streets. Carolina, however, was my main preoccupation. The thought that she would be killed by the atomic blast was suddenly overwhelming. She was so young and full of life; thinking that she was going to die was almost unimaginable. How could I have been so stupid to allow her to go to work? It seemed that even though she had known the bomb was coming, she had wanted to go to work anyway. How could I have allowed it? My pain was so immense, I even considered turning around and heading toward Irving to pick her up, but I realized that doing so would be sheer suicide - I would arrive just in time for the bomb to hit. Perhaps Carolina would escape anyways on her own. If she had left work immediately when news of the bomb had aired, she could have had time to get away. How would I ever find her again if the whole area was blown up? I might never know for sure what happened to her.
Although my thoughts were strained by anxiety about Carolina, at least now I did have a traveling companion. Sitting beside me in the front passenger seat was my old high school buddy, Mike Walls (whom I first met in 1966 when we attended junior high school together). Seeing Mike with me was a little strange, but I was happy he was there. I reflected how I hadn't associated with Mike for over 20 years since the time when I had been in high school and college in Portsmouth. We had had some wild times together and had been close friends. After we had traveled our separate ways, Mike had lived a thoroughly dissipated life, almost a reprobate, and we had had little in common. Yet during my teenage years, we had been friends and had been tightly bonded. He seemed to have been the most loyal, trustworthy friend I had ever had, and I was happy to have him with me now at this dangerous time.
Suddenly I looked down at the gas gauge and I groaned. It was on empty. What a nightmare! Where would we find gas now? Undoubtedly everything would be closed since everyone was fleeing from the city. We passed several closed gas stations, until finally, to my astonishment, I saw an open station on the other side of the street. I executed a screeching U-turn, dexterously but dangerously avoiding other cars, and swung my car back around to the station.
I pulled the car up to a pump, dug a wad of bills out of my pocket and handed them to Mike. I told him not to worry about receiving change, but to simply give the attendant more than enough to pay for the gas and to hurry back. Meanwhile I climbed out and began pumping gas. Wondering why the station was still open, I concluded that the owner must think the bomb threat was a big hoax. Indeed, it seemed to me that similar bomb alarms had gone out in the past without the bombs actually arriving. The owner had probably decided that this was a great opportunity to make money since his station was the only one open in the area. Believing there would be no bombs, he had decided to stay open.
I however wasn't of the same mind. I was convinced the bomb would fall, and my only thought was to leave town as fast as I could.
Logical proof cannot demonstrate that a dream-symbol contains a symbol-meaning, nor that dreams contain dream-messages, nor that dream-sets contain dream-morals. Symbol-meanings, dream-messages and dream-morals can only be understood on faith. One can believe, but one cannot logically prove their existence. By chaining together his beliefs in symbol-meanings, dream-messages, and dream-morals, Collier, however, hoped he could ultimately compose dream-epics which offered evidence of the existence of the secretive Dream-Maker.
Dream of: 13 February 1998 "Stuck Nuclear Bomb"
the danger of dying may never end
A serious problem had developed. A gray fighter jet, carrying a nuclear bomb, was malfunctioning. The jet was flying slowly around the interior of a courtyard surrounded by dark tenement buildings. As I stood in the middle of the courtyard and watched the plane flying in circles just above my head, I could see the bomb - about a meter long - hanging horizontally under the plane. Clearly, the bomb - stuck and unable to fall from the plane - was the problem.
I thought I might see a solution. Inside the courtyard were a couple buildings - garages or sheds - over which the jet was barely flying. I thought if the jet would descend just a little lower, the bomb could hit the top of one of the little buildings and be knocked off. I began signaling to the lone pilot whom I could clearly see in the cockpit. He also saw me, and he was obviously trying to understand my hand signals. Unfortunately, as he looked at me, he took his eyes off from where he was going, and suddenly he crashed into a building. Neither the plane nor the bomb exploded. Instead, the plane simply fell back over onto its top and lay upside down on the ground. It looked as if the plane was hardly damaged. I dashed toward the plane, thinking that at least it was on the ground, and that the danger had probably ended.
Under the forced-interpretation method, Collier intuitively forced from his mind the symbol-meaning for a dream-symbol in a given dream. The symbol-meaning of a dream-symbol might vary from dream to dream. What atomic-destruction intuitively means in one dream is not necessarily the same as what it might intuitively mean in another dream. The forced activation of the intuition was critical to Collier's success in discovering the symbol-meanings of his dream-symbols, of discovering the individual dream-messages of his dreams, as well as ultimately discovering the dream-morals in his dream-sets, such as, for example, the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul." Since Collier never wrote the actual dream-epic based on this dream-moral, that task has been left to me.
Dream of: 23 September 1998 "Escaping A Nuclear War"
life is as fragile as light
A nuclear war was about to break out under which an estimated third of the population of the United States would be wiped out. Although the city where I was living was due to be hit by a nuclear bomb in a couple hours, I nevertheless hoped I would be able to escape. Approximately ten people and I had gathered together in a house and were awaiting a large jet plane which would carry us to safety. We planned to board the jet and stay in flight when the bombs hit. Hundreds of other jets would be doing the same, staying in the air, the way I had always heard Air Force One and the president would do if nuclear war ever broke out.
The problem with the plan was that the plane was already late, and I was beginning to wonder if the plane was even going to return. The plane had been there earlier, but the pilot had flown the plane away so he could pick up two light bulbs at another location. The idea that the pilot had flown a plane somewhere just to pick up a couple light bulbs seemed a little ridiculous to me, but I could do nothing about it now. I would just have to wait and hope that the plane returned, because if my plane didn't return, I was doomed.
Dream-symbols remain the heart of Collier's dream-epics. In order to find the symbol-meaning of a given dream-symbol in a given dream, it helps to first examine the symbol-history of that particular dream-symbol. The symbol-history includes everthing which the deamer connects to the dream-symbol. By concentrating on the symbol-history of the dream-symbol, the dreamer can intuit the symbol-meaning of that particular dream-symbol for that particular dream.
Dream of:12 October 1998 "Atomic Bomb Scenario"
horror must be felt to be depicted
I was thinking that I would like to write a play, and that I would like to find someone to work with me on the play. I figured that collaborating on a play wasn't a common practice, but that it could be done. Musicals, for example, had often been written by two people, like Rodgers and Hammerstein. One musician sometimes worked with several different writers, such as Rodgers, who had composed other musicals with writers besides Hammerstein. Of course musicals were different from plays, because with a musical, one person typically wrote the music, while the other wrote the lyrics.
I knew that finding someone with whom to work wouldn't be easy, especially since I had never written a play. I had, however, once written a book of dreams, which had given me some experience in writing. Actually I would have preferred to write books of dreams instead of plays, but I didn't envision being able to publish a book of dreams, whereas a play could perhaps be published. I thought perhaps someday, when I was old, and after I had successfully published plays, I could publish a book of dreams.
Another problem would be to determine how much time I would spend writing, and where my collaborator and I would meet. Since I was again practicing law in Dallas, I could not spend a great deal of time writing. I also could not waste time traveling to see my collaborator. Since I lived near Fort Worth and traveled back and forth to Dallas, it would be best if I could find someone who lived between Fort Worth and Dallas. That way I could stop on the way to or from Dallas to visit my collaborator. We could work together as if we had a regular job. I would go in at a certain time, and together we would start writing.
At first I thought I would like to write a comedy. Trying to discover ideas to make people laugh would be interesting. When I began thinking about writing something more serious, the first idea which came to mind was inventing a scenario in which an atomic bomb had been dropped. Although the bomb wouldn't be dropped on the United States, but on some other country, the play would focus on the reactions of people in the United States to the dropping of the bomb.
Manchuria came to mind as a possible site for the dropping of the bomb. I imagined Manchuria to be a country just east of northern China. On the map which I envisioned, Japan was located on the mainland on the eastern border of Manchuria. I pictured Manchuria as a poor country which would be attacked by the Chinese in the play. Manchuria would be quickly overrun by the Chinese and China would control Manchuria. Once Manchuria became part of China, Japan would be right on the border of China. The Japanese would have previously felt themselves protected from China by the buffer state of Manchuria, but if Manchuria fell to the Communists, capitalist Japan would be faced with the Chinese as a dangerous neighbor.
In the play I would examine how several typical Americans would react to this situation. Working with a co-writer would definitely be helpful because then I could see how he would react to the dropping of the bomb. Clearly he would have a different reaction than I. I thought that both of us, however, would probably react with a certain degree of horror at the idea that an atomic bomb had been dropped.
Symbols created by conscious thought are different from dream-symbols. A person can, and often does, think while dreaming. A person does not, however create a dream-symbol with thought in the same way that a person creates a symbol in waking life. When a man is consciously thinking, he can create a conscious symbol. The existence of dream-symbols, however, is of a different nature. The "dream-symbol," like the dream itself, is not consciously created by the dreamer. Whereas man's waking mind might create a conscious symbol, the dream-symbol is not created by the waking mind.
Dream of: 11 October 2001 "Atomic Bomb Detonated By Terrorists"
death of the body is imminent
As I was sitting in the ranch-style Summerdale Drive House and watching television, a news bulletin flashed on the screen. A brilliant red explosion, apparently in the clouds above the earth, was displayed on the television tube. No explanation was given about where the explosion had occurred, but I immediately formed my own conclusions: the explosion was an atomic bomb which had been detonated by terrorists.
I had been expecting this kind of terrorism, but I was still shocked to actually witness it. I was also frightened. If terrorists had atomic weapons, they could detonate them anywhere; if an atomic bomb exploded in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, I could be killed. I beheld a vivid image of what would happen to my whole neighborhood. First a hot wind with the force of a hurricane would blast all the houses. Roofs and walls would fly off. Then the main power of the bomb would strike; houses would explode into flames and just disappear; only rubble would remain. No help would be available for the survivors. If many cities were hit, the United States wouldn't have the funds to aid everyone; the victims would simply have to fend for themselves.
The vision was devastating; if the bombing had already begun, I saw only one alternative: I had to flee. I needed to leave town before the roads became clogged with other fleeing people. I needed to go now. Calling to my wife Carolina who was also somewhere in the house, I screamed, "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!"
The dream-message is intuited from the dream-story contained in a dream in a fashion similar to the way a symbol-meaning is intuited from the dream-history of a dream-symbol. The dream-moral which is intuited from a dream-set, however, precedes the creation of the dream-epic. The central difference between a dream-story in an individual dream and a dream-epic in a dream-set is the creator: Collier created the dream-epic with his conscious mind, while the Dream-Maker created the dream-stories of the individual dreams in the sleeping mind.
Dream of: 05 November 2002 "Atomic Bomb On Mars"
sin is the result of evil
I was trying to help my mother, who had inherited a publishing business (for a magazine or a newspaper) which she was trying to run, but which was overwhelming her. I hadn't been at the building where her business was located for almost a month, but early this morning I had arrived at the office and I was now planning to talk with some of the employees about the business so that I could better grasp the problems.
As I began talking with one employee, I regretted that I had left home so quickly: I hadn't even dressed. I had a blanket wrapped around me, under which I was completely nude. Why did I always come to work naked? I had established this habit long ago, but I now realized that coming to work with simply a cover was entirely inappropriate. It seemed to me that at one time other people had also come to work naked, and that nudity had been acceptable. Now, however, everyone was dressed. Even the comic Jerry Seinfeld (who worked for my mother and who was walking around the office) was dressed in blue jeans and a button-down shirt. Why couldn't I be like the others? In consternation I looked under my cover. What? What a relief! I was dressed! I had on pants and a shirt, entirely appropriate. I threw off my cover and with relief continued talking to the employees.
When I looked for my mother through the door of the next room, I spotted her purse lying on the floor under a table, and then I saw her sitting behind someone else who was partially blocking my view of my mother who didn't look like herself: she seemed small, thin and weak. Clearly this business was too much for her to handle; I had previously talked with her about the possibility of selling the business. She didn't seem quite ready to sell, but obviously something had to be done. Consequently, I had arrived today to help. I had been told that a meeting with her lawyer was scheduled for later in the day. Although I had never met the lawyer, I knew I needed to do so. However, I wanted to be prepared; I needed to learn so much yet. I still had no idea how much the business was worth; I would need to go over the books and try to understand the accounting.
After I had finished my interview with one employee, another one walked up and sat down across from me. A tall thin mustached man (probably in his late 30s) - he told me that his name was "Library" and that he worked in the company's medical department. I wondered if he was a doctor. No, I didn't think so; probably a nurse. Why, however, would we need a medical department? The company only had eighteen employees. A medical department seemed to be a total waste of money. I quickly learned that the so-called medical department was actually only one room, and that Library only worked part time. His only interest seemed to be in obtaining a refrigerator for the room in which he worked. He seemed like an utterly superfluous fellow and I quickly ended his interview.
I stood and walked out into the white hallway. When I heard the heavy sound of footsteps approaching, I abruptly remembered what I had forgotten: I was being pursued. Every day, a being who resembled the comic-book character, Thor god of Thunder, chased me. At night, the blond-haired demi-god would sleep, and I was able to escape his torment, but every morning the muscled warrior would take up his menacing pursuit, and I must flee.
As I hurried through the corridor, I picked up an electric drill in one hand and in the other hand I held a small drill bit used for drilling Phillips-head screws. In previous encounters with the demi-god, I had successfully used the drill to fend him off by drilling a small screw into him, and his assault would be temporarily halted. This morning, however, I faced a problem: I needed an extension cord, and none was to be found. I hurried through the halls, frantically searching for an extension cord, until I finally reached an exit door and stepped outside onto a city street.
Where could I flee? I ran down the busy city street. The demi-god had also exited the building. I could see him, about a block behind me, headed toward me (like a scene from Terminator). Some semi-trucks were passing. My mind ran ahead of me and I thought I could jump on one of the semis. Of course my pursuer would also jump on one and continue chasing me. How could I ever escape or defeat him? I had once talked with an elderly man about the demi-god's seeming invulnerability, and the man had told me that although the demi-god had been injured many times, all his injuries had amounted to no more than the loss of the tip of the demi-god's little finger.
I could only think of one thing which could stop the unrelenting pursuer: an atomic bomb. Where, however, could such a bomb be safely detonated? Mars! If somehow I could reach Mars, I could safely detonate a nuclear bomb there and destroy this demon. But how could I possibly reach Mars?
Logically, Collier could not seem to prove anything and his dream-epics came to devolve around belief rather than logic. Collier could not logically prove that a symbol-meaning could be derived from a dream-symbol by examining the symbol-history. Symbol-histories bedeviled Collier to the point that he simply accepted the proposition that dream-symbols contained symbol-meanings which could be intuitively discovered from examination of the symbol-histories. His intuition also told him that symbol-meanings were consciously placed in dream-symbols by an intelligent Dream-Maker - but he still had no logical proof of this proposition. This acceptance of symbol-meanings intuited from the symbol-histories of dream-symbols did not negate Collier's quest for logical understanding of dream-symbols. His intuition, in fact, may have enhanced his understanding of his dream-symbols even without logic.
Dream of: 21 September 2004 "Plume Of Atomic Bomb"
focus on death
From the window of a room located on an upper story of a tall building, I was looking at a skyline which looked like that of Dallas. In the distance rose a huge plume of smoke. At first it looked like smoke from a fire, but then it looked more like the plume of an atomic bomb. When I looked out another building and in the distance saw a high-rise office building on fire, I concluded the city was under attack. I was still unsure whether an atomic bomb had been dropped; if so, it might be too late to escape.
My father (probably in his mid 40s) walked in. My mother also entered but remained in the background. I told my father what I had seen, but when I tried to show him, I had trouble finding the windows from which to look. He tried to see, but he couldn't.
Having decided to leave, the three of us boarded a car and rode to an area of town where I owned an adobe-style building. After the car stopped, my father, my mother and I climbed out and walked into the building. I was surprised to see that the rooms were furnished, albeit shabbily. After I pulled out a hand gun, my father and I walked from room to room until we encountered a man in one room. When the man also picked up a gun, I pointed my gun at him and ordered him to put down his gun. When he did so, I lowered my gun and I began questioning him until we finally all walked outside. The building was next door to a church or a camping ground (I couldn't decide which) and - even though I owned this building - it seemed to be part of the other complex.
The fellow blamed Lee Seeley (an employee of my father's who began working for him in the 1970s) for his being in the building. I wasn't clear about the details, but apparently Seeley had told the fellow he could stay there.
Still in a hurry to get out of town, I decided not to bother the fellow at the moment. After I told him he could stay in the building, my father, my mother and I headed toward the car. My father walked ahead of my mother and me, out of our sight. When I suddenly heard a thud, I immediately knew my father had been hit by a car. My mother and I ran toward something which I saw lying on the side of the road up ahead of us. As I approached the object, I discovered it to be a large brown antlered deer, still alive. I stepped up next to it and touched it. I was apprehensive that it might still try to attack me, but it was too weak to stand.
Where was my father? I saw that we were actually on an overpass and I concluded that my father must have been knocked off to the road below. I retraced my steps and descended the bank to the road under the overpass. There I saw my father lying on the ground and I hurried to him. Was he dying? He and I hadn't been getting along well lately and I had hard feelings toward him, but I still cared what happened to him. If he were dying, should I tell him I still cared about him?
I reached him and crouched next to him. He was obviously injured but fully conscious and even in a cheerful mood. He seemed glad to see me.
The dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" does go to the heart of the human experience. Life is spent in an endless struggle between right and wrong, good and bad. The struggle has no meaning if everyone ends up the same, if the evil person lives on as well as the good. Thus the moral "sin can annihilate the soul" does seem to have at least some logical validity. The question remains, however, whether a conscious Dream-Maker was trying to transmit this particular dream-moral to Collier through the atomic-destruction dream-set. No logical proof can be found that the atomic-destruction dream-set was designed to convey any dream-moral whatsoever. Only through Collier's intuitive belief could the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" be derived from the atomic-destruction dream-set.
seek shelter from sin
I was in a room with a portly man (probably in his mid 40s) dressed in a suit. After I began talking with him about the stock market, I told him I had changed my focus in the stock market to different countries, and that I was now involved in buying and selling different currencies instead of stocks.
In front of us was a large digital board listing various countries and beside the names of the countries were listed different prices which represented the price of the currencies in those countries. I told the man how I had long thought the countries with the most valuable currencies were countries which avoided going to war. He said, "But then it turned out to be just the opposite."
I agreed. I had finally learned that the countries with the most valuable currencies were precisely those countries which went to war. I had decided I needed to focus on some other factor, rather than war, to help me determine the value of a country's currency. My thesis on war and currency just wasn't panning out. The man agreed and he told me a person needed to put more thought into the equation than simply focusing on whether a country went to war.
As the man and I continued talking, we were no longer in the room, but were in a car which my old high school buddy, Steve Buckner, was driving. The man and I were still talking about stocks, and at first I thought I was going to like the man, but then he said something which irritated me. He said that all the short-sellers were pissing him off. I immediately concluded that he and I were going to have differences, because I liked selling stocks short. I thought selling stocks short was a good way to make money off bad companies.
I was about to give the man my opinion, when suddenly bombs began falling all around us. I didn't hear the bombs actually explode, but I could hear the distinctive whizzing sound a bomb makes as it falls to the earth. Since we had been expecting that a nuclear war would break out, I immediately concluded that the war had begun. I looked out the window and nearby I saw a big factory complex where a fire had broken out, but I couldn't tell if the fire was the result of a bomb.
Steve immediately began driving as fast as he could. He and I had previously made plans for what we would do in the case of an outbreak of war and we had a place where we intended to go: a cave. He raced along, even swerving into the left lane. Someone said we shouldn't look back, lest our eyes be damaged. Nevertheless, I kept glancing back behind us, trying to get an idea of what was going on.
A fire truck passed us going in the opposite direction. I thought it amazing that firefighters would actually be trying to fight against the conflagration.
As Steve sped along, I realized that the other man would have to go to the cave with us. That was not good because Steve and I had stored food at the cave, but not enough for the three of us. Nevertheless, at this point, I didn't see any choice but to take the man with us.
Determining a symbol-meaning for even one dream-symbol in the seemingly infinite world of dream-symbols is a challenge, and in the end, the connection between a dream-symbol and a symbol-meaning cannot be logically proven. Even after examing the symbol-history of a dream-symbol, all we are left with is an intuitive belief that a symbol-meaning has been derived from a dream-symbol. Collier based his life upon such effervescent intuitive symbol-meanings while his search for logical proof of the existence of the Dream-Maker remained unaccomplished. His only certainty remained the death of the physical body.
Dream of:23 October 2005 "Controlling Nuclear Weapons"
claim the power of metaphor
I was in my small bedroom, reading a book, when George H. W. Bush walked in. Perhaps 60 years old, he was slender and immaculately dressed in a suit. Although I at first ignored him as he looked around the room, we finally spoke. He seemed to want to portray himself as just an ordinary man, but I pointed out that for eight years - while he had been president - he had been the most powerful man in the world.
I was amazed when he said he had never thought of it that way, and I immediately began giving the reasons for my statement. I pointed out that many men had possessed more money than he, but that as president, he had controlled more money than anyone. I said that what had made him most powerful, however, were nuclear weapons: he had controlled the most powerful nuclear weapons in the world.
He still didn't submit to my reasoning, so I continued. I explained that other people might have also been involved in deciding when to use nuclear weapons, but he had been the person of highest rank in the decision-making process. I told him that if all the people in the world were lined up in a line from the least powerful to the most powerful, he would have been at the head of the line.
I was enjoying the conversation and I was surprised that Bush was staying so long. I wondered if I should mention his son, George W. Bush, and mention that his son was now the most powerful man in the world. I also thought about Bill Clinton, and I even pulled out a little book which contained cartoons about Clinton. I wondered if Bush would be interested in looking at it, but concluding that he wouldn't, I laid the book back down.
During our conversation, I was also a bit embarrassed because I was wearing a bra and some frilly little shirt which was hanging open so the bra was visible. I wasn't even sure myself why I was wearing the bra (which was small, like a training bra), but Bush seemed to pay it no mind, and he continued on with the conversation.
He said I should take into consideration the cardinals in Rome. I immediately thought he must be talking about the Pope, or perhaps even Jesus Christ, and my mind began running along those lines. I wanted him to understand that I wasn't talking about spiritual power, but worldly power. Besides, I thought Jesus Christ shouldn't even be involved in the conversation because he was dead.
Bush continued expatiating and he mentioned the "Cretan bull." I was taken aback. I hadn't expected Bush to be so erudite and I was particularly embarrassed because, although I had heard of the Cretan bull (and I prided myself on my knowledge of Greek mythology), I couldn't remember the story of the Cretan bull. I wasn't even sure whether Bush was using the story as an "analogy" or as a "metaphor" since I had never developed a clear understanding of the difference between analogy and metaphor. Finally, however, I concluded that the Cretan bull was an analogy and I told Bush that he had used a fine analogy, but I admitted that I was unfamiliar with the myth of the Cretan bull.
Bush immediately began explaining the myth. He said it went back to the first 16 centuries of the history of Troy. I pulled out another book written in Latin and I opened it to a page which talked about the Cretan bull. I saw the words "Cretan novus" written together and I suddenly realized that the Latin word "novus" meant "book." I had always thought "novus" meant "new."
As Bush continued talking, several other men dressed in suits walked into the room. They were obviously with Bush and they seemed surprised to hear him back there talking with me.
When I looked at myself in a mirror, I only looked about 16-17 years old and my lips were red as if I were wearing lipstick. I was quite pretty, but I could see why the men were surprised. My father had also walked into the room, and he likewise seemed surprised. Nevertheless, Bush and I continued our conversation unabated. Both of us were enjoying the intellectual stimulation of our argument. Bush was definitely much more intelligent than I would have thought.
In interpreting a dream, one does not simply replace a dream-symbol with the intuitive symbol-meaning. Rather, one must fit the intuitive symbol-meaning of one dream-symbol with the intuited symbol-meanings of all the other dream-symbols in the same dream. All the symbol-meanings may then be fused together into a dream-story from which the dream-message of that individual dream may be derived. The dream-symbol of atomic destruction has different symbol-meanings in different dreams. Although the dream-moral in this dream-set is "sin can annihilate the soul," this same dream-moral may not be the actual symbol-meaning of every atomic-destruction dream in this dream-set. The dream-moral grows from the many symbol-meanings of the common dream-symbol.
Dream of:22 November 2005 "Skull In A Mushroom Cloud"
I had been given the chore of developing a symbol for some dangerous radioactive material. The symbol was supposed to be designed to warn people to stay away from the material. I thought about the design of the symbol. I first had the idea of showing small figures of a man, woman and child. The figures would be drawn as if they were disappearing, or being blown away, as if from a blast from an atomic bomb.
To complete the symbol, I thought about also putting the drawing of a mushroom cloud next to the figures of the people. Thus the symbol would clearly show that the mushroom cloud was the cause of the people's disappearing.
However, I still wasn't satisfied. Suddenly I thought of something new: I could place the picture of a skull inside the mushroom cloud. As the image of the mushroom cloud with the skull inside crystallized in my mind, I realized I didn't even need the image of the three people. The image of the mushroom cloud and the skull was sufficient in itself.
In the end, I settled on the image of the skull in the mushroom cloud, which I could clearly see in my mind. This image should certainly warn people to stay away from the container displaying the image.
All Collier's atomic-destruction dreams may have contained warnings to avoid sin. The dreams may have "intended" to cause Collier to fear the dire consequences of sin. Thus the "intent" of the atomic-destruction dreams is of central importance. Intent, however, is an attribute of a living conscious being. Non-living entities are incapable of forming intent. If Collier could prove the intent of the atomic-destruction dream-set, he might have some evidence of the Dream-Maker, because Collier himself did not "intend" for his dreams to contain dream-messages. Intent became the fabled talisman which might lead Collier to the Dream-Maker. Collier also did not intend for his dream-sets to contain the dream-morals which he was able to intuit. With his intuition he searched for the intention of the dream-moral of his dream-sets. Yet even if the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" could be intuited from this atomic-destruction dream-set, clearly this intuitive belief in an intentional dream-moral is still utterly insufficient to prove something so grandiose as the existence of a Dream-Maker. Relying on his intuition to decipher the intent behind dream-morals, Collier still failed to logically prove the existence of a Dream-Maker.
Dream of:28 December 2005 "The Chinese Passageway"
killing people is not always a sin
I was in China, in an area right next to the border of the United States, in a large field where many people were gathered watching an air-show of jets flying around. Some jets flew close to the crowd of people on the ground. I was particularly interested in the jets because I myself was a fighter-jet pilot, even though I wasn't participating in this particular show.
I was also interested in the international commerce of fighter-jets. I was acutely aware that United-States corporations were selling many fighter-jets to different countries all over the world, and that many of those countries used the fighter-jets in wars against each other. I had finally become convinced that the commerce of fighter-jets and the wars themselves were nothing more than big games, very similar to video games, only on a much grander scale, wherein people were actually killed.
As my thoughts tumbled, I suddenly realized the order had been given for the United States to go to war against China. Since I was a fighter-jet pilot and I would obviously participate in the war, I began looking at a map which showed an area in China which would be bombed, an area which just happened to be the exact area in which I presently found myself. I immediately determined that I would volunteer to bomb this area. I still didn't know what kind of bomb would be used, but I thought it would be a fire bomb. I even vividly imagined the area being hit by the bomb and people-on-fire running through the streets. I even thought I might end up dropping an atomic bomb, and I pondered how I could live with myself after killing so many people. Living with the stigma of the man who had dropped an atomic bomb on people would be difficult. Nevertheless, I decided I would do it.
Before anything else, however, I needed to leave China, especially since the situation was already deteriorating all around me. I entered a building and raced along corridors, trying to avoid the ubiquitous Chinese. I encountered another American man who joined me, and the two of us continued along the hallways, searching for our way out and a way back across the border. Both the other man and I had passports, which we would soon need, for I was supposed to meet someone at a rendezvous in order to cross the border.
Unfortunately, some Chinese people suddenly surrounded the other American and me and we were led into a room. When the Chinese left the man and me alone for a moment, I quickly told the man to follow me into the adjoining bathroom. I had been here before and I knew a secret about this bathroom. I stepped into the shower and I pushed on the tilled wall on one side of the shower. The wall moved back on hinges, revealing a secret passageway into which I stepped and signaled my American compadre to follow me. He seemed to hesitate until I forcefully exclaimed that we had to leave "Now!" After he followed me into the passageway, I pushed the shower wall back in place just as the Chinese walked into the bathroom. The tilled door was expertly camouflaged. I only wished I had some way to place a bar on my side. Somehow the man and I were able to see right through the wall and watch the bewildered Chinese try to figure out what had happened to us. They had no clue.
The American and I turned our attention to the secret passageway and moved along. I knew that from here I would be able to reach my rendezvous and escape back into the United States.
If it were granted that the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" could be intuited from Collier's atomic-destruction dream-set, it still remains to be proven that the dream-moral was intentionally placed in the dream-set in order to establish evidence of a Dream-Maker. The bare intuitive discovery of a dream-moral in a dream-set still offers no proof of the existence of a Dream-Maker. The existence of the Dream-Maker is simply not proven by the fact that dream-morals may be intuited from dream-sets.
Dream of:22 April 2007 "Nuclear Spray"
kill to save others
Mel Gibson was sitting in the front passenger seat of a car which belonged to him and which I was driving down the highway. My father was sitting in the back seat. Sometimes I was able to put the car on automatic control and I would also sit in the back seat. I also had some little forms which I could fill in to make certain adjustments to the automatic control. At one point I also began reading a little book about the automatic control.
I fell asleep in the back seat and when I awoke, the car was speeding along at 80 miles an hour and passing a truck so close that I jumped back into the front driver's seat. Just as I again took over the controls, we entered an unusual tunnel constructed entirely of metal; even the road underneath us was metal. Like riding a roller coaster, we dipped down and then soared back up before exiting the tunnel. The ride was a little scary because it almost seemed as if we were going to fly off the ground and into the air.
Next we started traveling in a centrifugal circle banked so steep that the car actually seemed to be on its side. I told Gibson I had never seen anything like this.
When the car finally came to a stop in a parking lot, Gibson, my father and I were already outside the car which continued moving around the parking lot. I was holding a leash attached to the car and I tried to pull the car back to me with the leash.
Gibson, meanwhile, almost as if in a panic, ran around the parking lot and tried to gather up three little children (probably ages 3, 4, and 5). Suddenly I realized that another person seemed to be chasing Gibson. The person threw an object which looked like an intricate little round brown rock (about 30 centimeters long) which landed close to me. Now my leash in my hand actually seemed more like a ray-gun. I pointed the ray-gun at the rock-object and fired. The ray hit the object and knocked it about half way across the parking lot.
The man who had thrown the rock was standing nearby. He told me that I shouldn't have done that and that I had now caused some problems. He also mentioned something about Mexico. He then picked up the object and as he prepared to throw it again, I turned my ray-gun toward him and I began shooting at him. Out of the gun shot a nuclear spray which I knew would kill the man. Nevertheless the man managed to again throw the rock which landed close to me. It looked as if the man then died.
A second man immediately showed up and ran toward me in order to pick up the object. This situation was different because this man was carrying one of Gibson's little children. I aimed the gun at the man, intending to hit him in the waist area so I wouldn't hit the child, but I couldn't help but hit the child with some of my shots.
The man managed to pick up the object, and his object now began spraying something at me - a spray which I knew was a deadly nuclear material. When the nuclear material hit me in the chest, it didn't burn, but I knew it would probably kill me. I continued shooting the man with my spray. I knew that I was hitting the child and that the child would die. I knew, however, we were past the stage where I could prevent my own death or the death of the child. I only hoped to save other people from dying by killing the man. Even though he didn't fall as the first man had fallen, I knew my nuclear spray would ultimately take effect.
To the writings which encased his dream-sets, Collier gave the name "dream-epics." Not until Collier gave himself up to his dream-epics did he find spiritual peace. By giving himself up, he began to believe his own dream-epics. He strove to intuit the dream-morals which lay buried in his dream-sets, and based on those dream-morals he composed his dream-epics. He finally simply accepted that some grand magnificently conscious and intelligent being was transmitting dream-morals to him - Collier - which were meant to be conveyed to the world through dream-epics. The sharing of those dream-epics became Collier's raison d'etre and he gave himself up to the composition of those dream-epics. The boldness of his method involved the abandonment of logic. Although the concentration on one dream-symbol in a dream-set formed a certain logical foundation for intuiting a dream-moral, Collier abandoned logic. Instead of logic, Collier found faith because he decided that he himself needed to believe the dream-morals upon which he based his dream-epics if he expected anyone else to.
Dream of: 13 June2011 "Little Nuclear Bombs"
to control sin is to control death
A flurry of activity was occurring somewhere around Third or Fourth Street in Portsmouth because four nuclear bombs had been discovered. After I arrived on the scene, some Portsmouth officials gave all four bombs to me and told me to take them to the Ohio River. The bombs were tiny and looked like little black rectangular boxes about five centimeters long and about two centimeters wide. As everyone else cleared out, I headed toward the river.
I knew the bombs were timed and would soon explode. The idea was for me to cross over the high green levy which runs along the Ohio River in Portsmouth, and throw the bombs into the river. I figured I would probably be killed, but part of Portsmouth would be saved.
Just as I reached the top of the green levy, Donnie Eubanks (an old acquaintance from Portsmouth) came running toward me, and I hollered, "Eubanks, I have nukes!"
He ran past me, but then he stopped and walked back to me. I showed him the bombs as I headed down the river-side of the levy. As Donnie walked along with me, I thought perhaps he was going to help me.
I wondered what would happen when the nukes exploded in the river. I thought the nukes might flow down under the US Grant bridge - which stretches between Portsmouth and Kentucky - and would probably blow up the bridge. Some people would probably be killed, but at least Portsmouth would probably be saved.
The nature of the dream-epic was one of Collier's favorite subjects. He worked in a sort of circle. He started with dreams containing a common dream-symbol from which he fashioned his dream-set from which he intuited his dream-moral from which he composed his dream-epic which provided clearer focus to the individual dreams and made the common dream-symbol more understandable.
Dream of: 05 December 2011 "Larger Than A Mushroom Cloud"
death of the body is certain, death of the soul is not
A pretty young black-haired woman (around 20 years old) and I were in an apartment in which we were living in a high-rise building. As I gazed out the window to the far horizon, I observed the most peculiar sight: floating above the verdant mountains in the distance was what appeared to be a small green-treed planet slowly approaching earth. The planet wasn't perfectly round, but more of an irregular oval. I seemed to have previously heard of the planet, so I wasn't completely surprised by what I was seeing.
The closer the planet moved toward earth, however, the more concerned I became: clearly the planet was going to strike the earth. I had heard that such a collision would have catastrophic results and I recalled that the moon was thought to have originated from a collision between the earth and another planet in earth's early history. I wondered if a chunk of the earth as big as the moon could be broken off the earth by this impending collision.
Slowly, the small planet sank behind the mountains in the distance, so I wasn't able to see the actual collision, but I was sure that the impact would be catastrophic. Suddenly a gigantic brown mushroom-cloud rose ferociously in the distance. The cloud was far larger than any pictures of atomic-bomb mushroom clouds which I had ever seen.
I could see the wave of dirt and smoke from the cloud moving toward us. I knew the wave would have incredible destructive power and I mentally chastised myself for just sitting there and not seeking shelter. At least, I noticed, the wave seemed to be moving very slowly - almost in slow motion.
After I hollered to the woman that we needed to seek shelter in the basement, we headed toward the stairs. Another fellow also in the apartment ran ahead of us down the stairs while the woman and I followed. I thought we were very high up in a high-rise building, but we reached the bottom after descending only five stories. Quickly realizing that the stairs ended on the first floor, I didn't continue to a basement.
Unsure what to do, I walked over to a huge metal door, opened it and stepped outside onto the street. People were scurrying around everywhere and no one seemed to know what to do. I was surprised to see a Latino man in handcuffs being led by a police officer. Two other Latinos were walking on each side of the Latino and I heard them say, "Pussy, pussy, pussy." It seemed they were using the word in the sense of "a cowardly weakling." I looked at the man in handcuffs and I also called him a "Pussy," although I really didn't even know why I was saying it.
Although the air was becoming smoky, the wave from the collision still hadn't reached us. Aware that I didn't have much time, I hurried back inside the building where the pretty black-haired woman was waiting. We looked out the window as the air outside became more and more cloudy. We had no place to hide. Our only hope was that we were so far away from the impact that the power of the wave wouldn't be strong enough to knock over the building in which we stood. Nevertheless, I began to envision the buildings around us crumbling from the impact.
The dream-moral of a dream-set is the foundation of the dream-epic. Intuiting a dream-moral like "sin can annihilate the soul" from a dream-set is the artistic essence of Collier's foray into the world of dreams. The truth of the dream-morals upon which Collier based his dream-epics are verifiable only by the original creator of dream-morals: the Dream-Maker.
Dream of: 12 December 2011 "World-Ending Nuclear Reaction"
death of the body may mean freedom of the soul
I was in a prison. I had a couple cellmates, one of whom was my old high school buddy, Roger Anderson. As my cellmates and I were watching a television, a broadcasted report announced that scientists had made a mistake and had started a nuclear reaction which was going to eat up the whole world. The announcement reminded me of the early days of nuclear discovery when atomic bombs had first been invented and scientists had been unsure whether a nuclear explosion would set off a chain-reaction which would destroy the entire world. Apparently something similar to that had now happened.
On the television screen was displayed a picture of a hole which had formed in the sky. The hole was slowly becoming larger and larger and little bubbles around the edges of the hole seemed to be exploding. The scientists were convinced that nothing could be done to stop the hole from growing larger; the world, therefore, was going to end.
I looked out a window of my cell and I could see into a courtyard below where several hundred prisoners had already begun rioting. Apparently the guards had already capitulated and the prisoners were taking over and preparing to escape. I didn't want to be among that bunch of prisoners, but I did want to escape from the prison.
When I turned around, I noticed a guard leaving our section on some kind of vehicle. I hollered to my cellmates that we should follow the guard. As the guard pulled away, I followed.
Then Collier trusted the Dream-Maker and gave himself up to the delight of the Dream-Maker who used Collier to further champion belief in the existence of the Dream-Maker, because Collier found the proof of the Dream-Maker in his daily life and the effect of following the dream-morals upon which he based his dream-epics, like David followed the voice of God in his Psalms, and Collier allowed his mind to be freed into the fructifying glory of the Dream-Maker.
Dream of: 24 July 2013 "Feeling The Nuclear Force"
the immortal soul seeks freedom from the mortal body
I'm traveling in a car with my family. As we head south through the central United States, nuclear war apparently breaks out. In the far distance I can see the skyline of a huge city which I at first think might be Memphis, but conclude is Chicago. I stare at the skyline and wonder if a nuclear bomb will hit that city. Almost on cue, a nuclear bomb strikes right in the middle of the city and I watch the huge mushroom cloud rise over the city.
The landscape turns brown and barren. A few cars sit abandoned here and there, and almost as if a mighty flood has washed everything away, objects are just strewn about. We reach the top of a high mountain and somehow we are thrown out of the car. Another of my family-members is cast with me to the top of a deep stone well and we cling to the top to keep from falling into the well. I manage to pull the other person and myself from the top of the well, thus rescuing us both.
We all seek shelter in a cafeteria-like room in a flat brick building populated with other people. The wall toward the city is all windows so I can continue looking at the nuclear blast. A wave of dust is headed straight toward us. I holler to the others that the dust is coming and I feel the force of the wave as it strikes the glass side of the building, but none of the dust pierces the room.
People are sitting around at different tables in the room. Someone has walked outside to rescue a couple animals and the animals have been brought back into the room. One fellow is holding one animal in his lap. The animal is so long, its head is lying in a peculiar position on the lap of another person. At first I think the animal is a big camel, but when I look more at the fuzzy somewhat humanoid face of the animal, it doesn't look like a camel, but more like a Dr. Seuss-type character with a round face and a few stiff mustache hairs. Another person is holding another similar animal.
People are already scrounging around for food. One person has found some liquid saccharine which he's distributing to some people. Apparently, in this new era, saccharine is a highly valued commodity which people want.
And lo, the sin which had washed over his soul lessoned and he looked at his dream-epics as his key of passage to heaven. The result for Collier was an increment in the control of atomic-destruction in his dreams. This was a confirmation of his original assertion that atomic-destruction in his dreams could stand for the dream-moral that "sin can annihilate the soul," and he concluded that the less sin that he effectuated in his waking life, the less probable would be the likelihood that his soul would be annihilated upon the death of his earthly body.
Dream of: 29 September 2013 "Flash Of Nuclear Light"
when the body dies, the soul revives - for some
While a woman and I are in a town in another country (somewhere in the area of Bulgaria), we are made aware of a threat of nuclear war. Apparently a nuclear bomb will soon be dropped close to us. Now determined to depart from the country, the woman and I are standing in line at the border and are attempting to pass through customs. Although my passport - which I have with me - has been expired for two years, I have a special letter which will allow me to use the expired passport.
When I finally reach the head of the line, I step up to a man and hand him my passport. The woman is quickly allowed to pass through customs, but I'm unsure that I will make it. I hand the man several more papers. After he puts everything, including my passport, into a little pouch and hands the pouch to me, I'm allowed to proceed.
As the woman and I walk out of the building together, I suddenly see a flash of bright light. As people scurry about, I think the nuclear bomb must have exploded. Although I can see a small mushroom cloud far off in the distance, I think the woman and I still have time to escape. We reach our car and load everything we have. I recall, however, that I failed to bring a couple pairs of pants and I think we need to return to the place where we've been staying so I can retrieve the pants. Finally, however, I tell the woman I might just have to leave the pants behind, although I really don't want to do that. In this case, however, I think maybe I should forget about the pants. I conclude that we should probably simply board the car and ride as far away from here as possible.
I wish I knew when the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul" came into Collier's mind. I understand from good sources that he did not consider his atomic-destruction dreams as a dream-set until probably the summer of 2013. This was during the time when he was concerned with his method of constructing his dream-epics as being written by fictional characters in the future, and his uncertainty whether the creation of such characters was beneficial for the understanding of his dreams. He speaks of being enamored of the fictional characters and of having relied on them to explain his dreams to him.
Dream of: 26 October 2013 "Nuclear Espionage"
the worthy soul is hardened in battle
I'm watching a movie in which I'm also taking part. Nuclear espionage has taken place, and perhaps even a nuclear explosion, although the occurrence of a nuclear explosion is still unclear. A massive search is underway for the people responsible for the espionage, and I know that I am one of those responsible. I also know that I work in the top layer of government personnel involved with nuclear reactors. The search for the responsible parties proceeds.
While I'm sitting at a desk, a woman who works as my secretary notices something strange about my desk, and she makes a comment that no mud is on my desk. She explains that I had reported that I had gone to a muddy place this morning and she concludes, therefore, that mud should be on my desk. I agree with her that mud should be on my desk, but then I recall that I washed my desk after I returned. She seems to view my washing the desk as suspicious, as if I might have been trying to cover up something. When she calls her superior on the phone to make a report of what she has seen, I know that her report might cause me problems if the authorities begin to focus on me. The woman continues to thoroughly check my desk until she again calls her superior to report that my story checks out. Now I think I've been cleared, but I know that coming under suspicion even for a moment is dangerous.
The movie shifts to a scene inside a nuclear reactor bathed in blue florescent light. A machine-like voice is heard saying something like, "Mister Lee will no longer be needed." I know that this voice is referring to me and that my services will no longer be needed.
The next movie scene shows ninja soldiers attacking the interior of the nuclear reactor with swords, hacking away. The light fades dimmer and dimmer. The movie ends
As I'm walking with hundreds of other people out of the building where I work, I'm joined by my five co-conspirators in the nuclear espionage, one of whom is Brad Pitt. We're all satisfied with ourselves that we got away with the espionage. It looks as if we'll never be caught.
Collier perceived a connection between his atomic-destruction dreams and the degree of his daily sin. He thought of this connection as a proof of the sinful nature of atomic-destruction in his dreams. Proof, however, that the message "sin can annihilate the soul" was being sent to Collier by the Dream-Maker, remained elusive. True, Collier had more power over atomic-destruction in his dreams when he lessened the amount of sin in his daily life, but to say that he was receiving dream-messages from the Dream-Maker to reduce the sin in his life is simply unprovable.
Dream of: 31 December 2013"How To Survive A Nuclear Blast"
trust the power of beauty
While I'm on a gigantic ship filled with people, a nuclear war breaks out, and I can see that a nuclear bomb has been dropped in the ocean off in the distance. The size of the explosion is absolutely phenomenal. I've never seen anything like it in my life. I can see the nuclear wave slowly traveling toward us.
Everyone has been assigned a particular place on the ship and everyone is supposed to be going to his or her place. I'm unsure I want to go to my assigned place since I think I might be able to find a better place somewhere else on the ship. I know that when the nuclear wave hits the ship, the impact will be so forceful, survival will depend upon a person's place in the ship. I think the center of the ship would be the safest place, but at the moment I'm just desperately trying to get to the other side of the ship - the opposite side from where the wave is going to hit. I see elderly people who don't even seem to know what's going on, and I assume that they will be quickly killed by the impact when the bomb hits.
Before I go to my place, I walk into a room which resembles a large library. On the shelves are books, each of which pertains to a certain person. When I ask a woman for a book which pertains to my family, she gives me an old book which apparently contains the history of my family and I walk out of the room. When I see the amount of commotion outside and when I realize that no one is now in the library-room, I decide that I would like to have another book and I walk back inside the room.
From a window in the library-room, I can see the nuclear wave approaching and I know that it is going to hit at any second. I lie down on my side on the floor and curl up in a fetal position, even though I know that lying on the floor like this isn't allowed. A man dressed as a northern Civil War soldier stops as he's walking through the room and he tells me that I'm going to have to leave. I think that he's going to arrest me - and technically he does so - but he allows me to leave the room anyway. Still carrying my book, I head toward the door without having procured a second book.
Just as I'm leaving, the woman who earlier gave me the book walks back into the room. I don't know whether she saw me leave, but I overhear the soldier telling her about me and finally saying something to her about a "prisoner."
I walk on out of the room.
For Collier, Nirvana would have been the certain knowledge that he would live an eternally blissful life. The closer he came to having certain knowledge of eternal life, the happier he became since his true happiness was inseparably bound to the certainty of his eternal life. Without the knowledge of eternal life, he could not be truly happy. Yet he discovered that such knowledge of eternal life was elusive in dreams. Knowledge of eternal life was that which he most sought, and that which he failed to find in his dreams. Proof, that is. He failed to find proof of eternal life. He did, however, find some evidence of eternal life and he decided he would have to settle for that. Unsettlingly, the evidence for eternal life which he found seemed bound to the concept of sin. His conclusion, that eternal life might not exist for the sinful, seems intimately tied to the dream-moral "sin can annihilate the soul."
Dream of: 15 January 2014 "Modern Warriors"
I've read an article about several nuclear warheads which may have been launched. I figure the launch is in conjunction with a war game in which I myself have been taking part, although I don't have any nuclear weapons at my disposal. About twenty different people around the world are taking part in this war-game, and each person has four or five nuclear weapons, so no one person has an overwhelming amount of power.
I see some pictures of some of the men involved in the war-game. All are shirtless and strong. They don't even need to wear clothing. These are some of the modern powerful warriors.
I myself feel unprepared because I don't yet have my weapons ready. I'm not particularly, concerned, however, because I don't feel as if the real war has started yet. Although I'm not completely sure, it does seem, however, as if someone might have launched some nuclear weapons.
So Collier waged war against sin since sin became the enemy which could deny him eternal life. As he won his battles against sin, he discovered that he had more positive power in his daily life, and he used that positive power to discover the dream-morals which he intuited from the dream-sets and upon which he based his dream-epics.
Dream of: 19 February 2014"Funnel Cloud Looks Like Mushroom Cloud"
trust your soul to the power of God
I'm walking south on Gay Street in Portsmouth, headed toward the Gay Street House (the home of my father from 1964 to 1997) which I can see a couple blocks away. The sky quickly grows overcast and somber black clouds gather. I want to reach the Gay Street House as fast as I can, but I'm having difficulty walking. I don't know if I've become too old or what, but I'm not able to walk fast and I can't seem to force myself to move any more rapidly. I'm just barely moving, and the clouds are growing darker. The brindle pit bull, Kirsten (who lives with me), is running around on the street.
From where I am, the hills of Kentucky are clearly visible just across the Ohio River which is only a few more blocks south of the Gay Street House. It looks as if a tornado might be forming in the hills. Turning around and looking back toward the north, I can see a definite tornado which has formed in that direction.
Looking again south of the House, I see what at first looks like a white funnel cloud, but which - upon closer scrutiny - looks more like the mushroom cloud of an atomic bomb. It doesn't make sense that the cloud could be from an atomic bomb and I feel sure that it must be a funnel cloud which simply looks like a mushroom cloud, although I still have the feeling that it's possible that someone could have dropped an atomic bomb on Portsmouth.
Suddenly I see what appears to be an explosion directly on the other side of the House. Apparently another bomb has exploded. This one is also white and towers up above the House and shoots what look like piercing streams of white water all over the House. It looks as if a water main may have been hit.
I'm unsure if I'm going to make it to the House before a funnel cloud hits me. The best I could do out here in the open is simply lie down on the ground and curl up. I would grab Kirsten, hold her in my arms and try to protect her.
As I keep struggling to reach the House, I think if I can only enter the House and descend to the basement, I may find safety. Abruptly, however, I realize that I've lost my key. I don't even have a key to the House and I don't know how I will enter.
As I struggle forward, the skies begin to clear, and by the time I reach the House, the sun is shinning and the sky is clear. In a large green lawn beside the House is sitting a red riding lawnmower which I think belongs to my father. I push the lawnmower toward the House till I feel as if it's in a secure spot.
I also notice a blanket lying on the grass and a pair of glitzy women's sunglasses lying on the blanket. I instinctively know that the sunglasses belong to Kay (my father's second wife) and I think Kay must be here. As I continue walking toward the House, Kay suddenly emerges from the House and says something to me. Then my father walks out and he also says something to me.
After I mention to my father that I saw the water-explosion, I walk around behind the House to see for myself what has happened. To my surprise, I discover that a rectangular area directly behind the House - perhaps half a city block - has been excavated into a deep pit perhaps twenty or thirty meters deep, apparently the first step in the construction of a tall building. A concrete wall about waist-high runs along this side of the pit. Kirsten comes running and places her two front paws on the top of the wall as if she's about to jump over. She seems to remember that level ground used to be right on the other side of this wall. I quickly grab her, realizing that she would surely die if she fell to the bottom of the pit.
I'm curious about the buildings that are still left standing around the pit. Kirsten and I walk around to the other side where I see a small park with a children's play area which has been left untouched. I remember this park from before. The park has several black metal swings big enough for three persons. They are held up by metal poles. As I sit down in one of the swings and pull Kirsten up beside me, about a dozen children - all dressed in white - assemble on one side of the park. They are probably between 10 and 12 years old. Apparently they are a little choir and as they face me they begin singing, "Oh mighty God, when I behold the wonder of all the world, so gloriously arranged ... then sings my soul ... "
Reaching this spot has been such a struggle and now - hearing the words of this song - I'm overcome with emotion. I feel like crying. When I feel the tears coming to my eyes, I quietly weep, and no one bothers me.
The sound of the words "Oh mighty God" caused Collier to sit and weep. It is no secret that Collier often equated the Dream-Maker with God. Collier wanted to believe that God was sending him dream-morals in his dream-sets so he could create his dream-epics. And Collier did believe.
Dream of: 08 May 2014"Death Quickly Coming"
judgment will be swift and sure
There is a threat of a nuclear war. I immediately walk outside and look around at the many houses and buildings in this far-reaching suburban area in which I stand and I stare onto the horizon to my right where I suddenly see a bright light from a distant nuclear bomb suddenly exploding. After a short pause, another nuclear blast occurs on the horizon in front of me - then another more to my left, and another, and another until a series of five or six nuclear bombs has exploded on the horizon all around the area in front of me.
I know I must immediately try to escape and I run toward a street-tunnel, but the air turns heavy with dust and radiation has already surrounded me and already I can barely see and I realize that the dust is already radioactive and that there's a good chance that I'm going to die right here. I can feel death quickly coming.
"And God spoke to Collier" were the words which Collier wanted to write. But God did not reveal himself to Collier. And Collier was unhappy by his failure to reach Nirvana after carefully recording his dreams for more than 40 years. And not once did God reveal himself to Collier.
Dream of: 08 June 2014"The Dream Notebook"
develop a plan to save your soul
In front of me lies my brown plastic three-ring notebook which has the picture of Snoopy from the comic strip Peanuts on the front, except that this notebook has four metal rings instead of three. The two rings at the bottom are only a couple centimeters apart while the two at the top are more like five centimeters apart.
I'm assembling and organizing several different papers inside the notebook so that I will have the papers handy. I've already included a good many papers in the notebook. The main thing I want in the notebook is the current book of dreams on nuclear-bombs which I've been writing. I usually only work up the books on the computer. In this case, however, I've already printed out some of the book and I'm holding those pages in my hand. I can vaguely see one of the black and white pictures on the top page. I know that I have already attached pictures to some of the dreams in this book-compilation, but not to all. I still have to complete that task.
I reflect that on my computer version of the book, I may have already altered some of the transitions between the dreams, so the printed version which I have in my hand might actually not be the most current version of the book. Nevertheless, I think the printed version which I have will be handy when I want to concentrate on the transitions in the book. It seems as if I'm able to align the holes on the side of the book print-out to the metal rings in the binder.
I also have already included several maps of the world in the notebook. I see that the top map is of the United States. A yellow phone book is also inside the notebook. I also have a legal-sized lined writing tablet which I'm trying to fit into the notebook. Although I'm having some difficulty with aligning the three holes of the tablet with the four holes of the notebook, it seems as if I finally succeed. I may even put my birth certificate in the notebook. I wouldn't want to include the original birth certificate and carry it around, but I think I can safely include a copy.
The notebook will be hefty, but I think it will work out.
And Collier thought he saw the intelligence of God at work in his dreams, and Collier was confused whether God was trying to speak to mankind through his dreams. Just as God spoke through the great prophets of old, was God trying to notify mankind that "sin can annihilate the soul?" And God said, "Be not sinful, lest ye die!" Or did Collier simply make this up himself because God does not speak directly to men in their dreams? Either God does speak to man in dreams, or he does not. It is as simple as that. It is one or the other. There are no other choices.
Dream of: 18 July 2014 "Living Amidst The Enemy"
save your trust for the trustworthy
I'm in a university in Russia. I'm thinking about my new job - teaching English to Russians. I don't teach here at the university, but at another location - in a room on a farm which is part of a highly fortified military complex. I've learned that all the nuclear weapons in Russia are controlled from one small disheveled room located in a somewhat dilapidated barn on the farm, and I've been astounded to learn that only two or three people work in the room at a time.
While I'm sitting here in the lounge area of the university, I see a stubble-faced American fellow who is around twenty years old (he looks exactly like Philip Seymour Hoffman), and I sit down on a couch and start talking with him. Although I haven't decided that I can trust the fellow, I'm hatching a plan in which he may be useful. I'm thinking that if I just had a few other people to help me, we could actually take over the central room in the barn on the farm and we could gain control of all Russia's nuclear weapons. I contemplate how the other fellow and I could stand outside the door of the room and then suddenly rush in. The difficulty would be gaining control of the room before the Russians had time to press buttons which would launch the nuclear weapons. Maybe we could holler at them not to launch. Surely the Russians in the room wouldn't want to kill millions of innocent people for no reason. That part of the plan, however, is a bit sketchy - I certainly don't want nuclear weapons to be launched as we try to take over. The plan is becoming strong in my mind, but I don't have anyone to help me.
As I talk to this fellow, I finally tell him what I'm doing here, and I say, "I teach Russian," then quickly add, "I don't know any Russian." Only slowly do I realize the absurdity of what I just said, then I correct myself and explain that I don't teach Russian, but that I teach English.
We stand up and walk around a bit together. I have the feeling that he is a bit leery of me, and I'm uncertain whether I should tell him what I know about the nuclear headquarters. Finally, however, I decide that divulging information about the fortress would be safe, so I tell him about the place, but I don't mention my plan to take over the nuclear weapons.
He listens to me, but I'm disappointed that he doesn't seem particularly interested. I conclude that he's not going to help me, and we split up. He walks off and leaves me in the lounge.
I know that I need to go to a class now. I notice a snack machine at the end of the hall, and I think I will buy some candy before I go to class because I haven't had anything to eat. I walk up to the machine and see a little bag of hard candy with pieces of hard butterscotch and also at least one piece of soft caramel with a white center. The bag costs fifty cents. I pull two quarters out of my pocket and stick them into the machine.
I fantasize about how one day people will be able to just touch the corner of a credit card to a machine like this in order to receive something. But then I also reflect that soda machines don't even take credit cards yet - so the day of simply touching the corner of a credit card to a snack machine is still a ways off.
I come away from Collier's dream-epics with a belief in the benefit of searching for dream-morals in dream-sets, and I finally conclude that this dream-set of atomic-destruction dreams could indeed support a dream-epic whose moral would be "sin can annihilate the soul."
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Copyright February 2, 2015 by Steven Collier