An Unusual Method Of Communication

    by

    Frank Whitfield

     

    I simply must stop everything that I'm doing and write this quick memoir about a small group of dreams which Steve Collier had about a woman whom he encountered on the Internet named Fuzzyant beginning 74 years ago in 2012. In that year, both he and Fuzzyant were publishing their dreams on a website called the Dream Journal, and Collier had his first dream about Fuzzyant on June 2, 2012.

    Collier was one of the earliest pioneers in the area of "internet dream communication." He was the first person to publish a book about another dream journalist whom he had met on the internet and about whom he had dreamed without having ever met that dream journalist in person.

    Dream of: 02 June 2012 "The Seventh Comic"

    heaviness from death's

    gravity might lessen with

    imagination

    I had gathered up seven comic books which I realized all had something similar on the cover. Then I took away one comic which didn't quite seem to fit in with the others and I laid the other six in a row in front of a bright-eyed girl (around fifteen years old) who seemed crippled and in a wheelchair. The comics seemed to have something to do with her.

    When my father showed up, he and I began talking about an event which was supposed to take place today and as we talked, I realized the event had something to do with the moon. When I looked up into the sky, I saw two moons, one pale and off to the left, and the other bright and full, straight in front of us. Suddenly a red spot appeared in the full moon in front of us, and I knew that the red spot was part of the event which we had come to see. I watched in fascination as the red spot grew and grew.

    Meanwhile, the girl was holding in her right hand an object which looked like a circular, metal ring about twenty centimeters in diameter. The ring seemed to be magnetized toward the full moon. The girl's arm raised into the air as the ring was pulled toward the moon. At the same time, I could feel what the girl was feeling, and I felt my arm rising toward the moon. I also had the feeling that the seventh comic would now fit in with the others.

    In the vaguest way, the girl seemed somewhat like a woman whose dreams I sometimes read on a website called the Dream Journal, a woman whom I had never met and whom I knew by the name of "Fuzzyant."

    I will be taking a course at the Sorbonne this fall about dream-writing on the internet. I know that part of the material of that course will deal with dream writers who dream about each other even though they have never met each other in person.

    Of course such courses did not exist in Collier's day. Yet as well as I can determine, Collier was one of the first internauts to become interested in dreaming about other dream writers whose dreams he had read on the internet but whom he had never met in person. He especially valued dreamers who were artists, and he believed that Fuzzyant fell into that category.

    Dream of: 20 August 2012 "Art-Apocalypse"

    that which is valued

    is saved while that of no

    value discarded 

    An apocalyptic event is taking place which will cause all the artwork on all the websites in the world to be lost. I think I have already secured all my own data, but I'm worried that other people might lose theirs. I'm particularly concerned about my friend Fuzzyant since I know that she has a couple hundred artworks which she has created and posted on the web, and I'm afraid all her art will be lost. I haven't looked at her art in a while. I'm unsure I can find her artwork because I think she has changed her web site and I'm uncertain I can locate the old site where the artwork was saved. Nevertheless I think I need to try to find her artwork. I know that I have saved the artworks of many artists on my computer and I figure I can simply make a folder for Fuzzyant, download her artwork, and save it. Downloading will be a bit troublesome and take some time, but I think I need to download just in case Fuzzyant doesn't know about the web-apocalypse. I'd hate to see all her artwork lost.

    The small book which Collier published about Fuzzyant in the year 2016 is the first record of a connected group of dreams which one internet user had about another internet user who was known largely through the dreams and who was never met in person. Collier averred that at the time he published his first 16 dreams of Fuzzyant in 2016, he had never seen Fuzzyant in person nor had he ever heard her voice. He had, however, seen some old pictures of her, had had some brief communications with her by e-mail, had read some of her online comments made to other dreamers about their dreams, had visited her Facebook website, had visited a sort of public, online diary which Fuzzyant kept for many years, and had also viewed over 200 pictures which Fuzzyant had created - mostly of anthropomorphic cartoon animals - and posted online.

    Dream of: 20 November 2012 "Star Wars"

    communication

    requires effort which may

    be unforthcoming

    A woman who goes by the name of "Fuzzyant" is living in the Gay Street House (the large Victorian House where I lived as a teenager on the SE corner of Eighth and Gay Streets in Portsmouth, Ohio). Fuzzyant occupies a room on the ground floor on the Eighth Street side of the House, while I live in a room toward the rear of the House near the kitchen area. Although we both live in the House, I haven't seen Fuzzyant in several days. It seems that we have both been busy with other things and that we haven't even been talking much for a while.

    I have just returned to the House from seeing a new Star Wars movie which had a tremendous effect upon me. The movie had been extremely bloody - people and grotesque creatures had been fighting with light sabers and slicing each other to pieces left and right. I'm still shaken - almost in a state of shock - by the impact of the movie. I don't remember having ever been so radically affected by a movie. I'd never seen anything like it. It seems that Fuzzyant and I had originally contemplated watching the movie together and I feel rather bad about having attended the movie without her because I think she would have probably liked the movie.

    I walk out of my room and head toward the large middle living room which separates Fuzzyant's room from mine. Once I'm in the living room, I can see the door to Fuzzyant's room, and I notice that a woman has stepped out of Fuzzyant's room for a moment. I have never before seen this woman with dark-brown hair. She is probably about 40 years old, has a somewhat rotund figure, and a ruddy complexion. She quickly steps back into the room.

    As I look around the living room here - a common space which Fuzzyant and I share - I notice some of my clothes lying untidily on the floor and furniture, and I realize I should not have left the room so messy. I wonder whether the other woman with Fuzzyant saw my junk scattered around the room, and I wonder what the woman must have thought. I'm disappointed in myself for leaving the mess here. When I also notice a couple wads of money lying on the floor, I'm sure the money also belongs to me and I pick it up. I reflect that Fuzzyant could have taken the money if she had wanted it. Fortunately, I feel that Fuzzyant can be trusted. I think I could tell her that I know exactly how much money is in the wads and that I had just been testing her to see if she would take any. In reality, however, I'm unsure how much money is in the wads. I do notice, however, a couple twenties in one wad.

    After gathering up the money, and still reeling from the effect of the movie, I suddenly become so tired that I can hardly move and I simply lie down on the floor. Only now do I realize how utterly drained I am by the movie. As I lie here, I can hear someone typing on a keyboard in Fuzzyant's room. I'm amazed by the speed of her typing which seems to be as fast as possibly imaginable. I wonder if Fuzzyant is typing or if the other woman is in there typing. I don't remember having ever heard Fuzzyant type as fast as she is now doing.

    I don't want Fuzzyant to walk in and find me lying like this in the floor. I want to stand up and return to my room, but I almost feel paralyzed. I simply lie here on the floor and listen to the typing, thinking I need to return to my room.

    At some undefined point, Collier concluded that Fuzzyant was asexual. At least she did not seem like a normal heterosexual, whatever she was. In his brief communications with Fuzzyant, Collier was unable to discuss the subject with her, and thus he remained uncertain of Fuzzyant's exact sexual nature. Collier had never had any relationship with an asexual person, yet there he was, reading her dreams week after week for years. 

    Dream of: 20 November 2012 (2) "Jack Of Diamonds"

    understanding dreams

    requires logic and use

    of intuition

    I'm trying to understand a dream which I just had in which Fuzzyant appeared. Contemmlating the dream, I realize that it actually consists of playing cards arranged in a row as if for a game of solitaire. On one card is a picture of a woman (probably in her late 20s) who is lying on her side on a couch and looking straight out from the card. I remember that the scene depicted on the card was also a scene in the dream I just had. Staring at the card, I am amazed by how absolutely beautiful the blonde-haired woman is and I concentrate on her extremely beautiful face.

    The only card on one of the other rows is a jack of diamonds. I realize that if I am able to remove the jack, I will have an open space, which is what I need. I feel that if I can open up the space by moving the jack, I will have a key to understanding the dream.

    I think when Collier says, .".. if I am able to remove the jack, I will have an open space...", he is actually saying that if he could control his lust, he would be closer to understanding who he was. I believe Collier may have viewed Fuzzyant as a means to control his lust. She was an asexual woman whom Collier found attractive on a metaphysical level but with whom he did not intend to have any physical relationship. 

    Dream of: 20 November 2012 (3) "Medieval Story"

    love exists in the

    form of many tasks to be

    completed on earth

    I am watching a medieval story in which I am the central character. In the story I am studying a dream I had in which Fuzzyant and a picture of a beautiful woman on a playing card appeared. I know that I am married to the woman depicted on the playing card and that I have come to love her - but just barely.

     An old dying man appears and tells me that because I have found love, I have completed my mission on earth. All I needed to do was to find love, and I have done so. Now I can die. I realize that the man is my father-in-law, and from his words, I also realize that he finally loves me. He then adds, "My son, Steven..." and he continues to tell me that I still have a task to complete.

    We are in Columbus, Ohio, and he instructs me that today I must go south to Portsmouth and kill a man who is an enemy.

    Collier cultivated a bellicose attitude about veganism which was just beginning to become a driving force in the world in 2016. Fuzzyant was a carnivore - as were the vast majority of dream journalists on the Dream Journal in those dark years before the Vegan Enlightenment. Since Collier perceived that Fuzzyant was unwilling to entertain any criticism of her diet by Collier, he did not directly approach her about the subject. Yet he saw in her dreams that her lust for animal products was taking a severe toll on her spirituality. 

    Dream of: 25 December 2012 "Pictures"

    many beautiful

    things turn ugly and gray with

    the passing of time

    I'm talking with Fuzzyant. We aren't in each other's presence, but we are talking. I say, "From the pictures I've seen of you, you had a decent figure at one time."

    I'm trying to say something nice to her because she seems despondent about her looks. I would like to make her feel better, but I'm a little concerned that I'll just end up making her feel worse. 

    Over the years, Collier alienated a few people with his insistence that dreams tell stories and that sets of dreams containing the same figure tell epic stories. When he came in contact with Fuzzyant on the Dream Journal, Collier foresaw writing one of those epic stories about Fuzzyant. Fuzzyant, however, apparently was not in complete accord with Collier's project of dreaming about a stranger and then turning those dreams into a book. Since, however, the United States was at the forefront of freedom of speech in the world of 2016 when Collier published his first book about Fuzzyant, she could not stop the publication of the book, even if she had tried.

    Dream of: 16 December 2013 "The Fortune Teller" 

     

    the clairvoyant may

    see glimpses of possible

    futures in dreams

     I'm on the large business-lot which my father owns in New Boston, Ohio. Recalling that my father has rented out the brick office building on the lot to a fortune teller, I decide to have my fortune told. I've never even met the fortune teller before, but I have the feeling that her name is "Rosita." I walk into the building and I meet her. She's a black-haired gypsy-type (probably in her mid 30s) with bright red lipstick. She's attractive, but I'm not attracted to her. We face each other and she scrutinizes my face. I don't really believe in fortune-telling to begin with, but I think this might be interesting. I decide to show no expression because I don't want to give her any facial cues. I slightly smile once, but I quickly stop because I don't want to betray any hints about what I'm thinking. As she stares at me, her face puckers and her eyes cross so they're both looking straight at her nose. She is perplexed, almost catatonic, as she tries to figure me out. She finally stops and walks outside.

     I look around the room. Until now, I had not paid any attention to the interior. Three plush, maroon armchairs are sitting in one corner. A couple attractive antique wooden bureaus are sitting against one wall.

    I look outside and notice that quite a few people are gathered out there in front of the building and on both sides. I start thinking that this might not be a good time to have my fortune told since so many people are outside. The fortune teller could probably be using her time to make money by telling the fortunes of the people waiting outside.

    I walk outside and see a slightly chubby woman (about 30 years old) who had come here with me (she indistinctly resembles Fuzzyant). She's dressed in off-white. I had forgotten about her. I tell her that I'm going to go ahead and leave. 

    After the fortune teller and I walk back inside the building, I tell the fortune teller that I think I'll wait and come back another time because she could make some money from the other people. I also say "You owe me," because I know that I paid her $20 to tell my fortune and that she still hasn't done anything. I reflect that she makes her appointments by phone, but I don't want to simply call her later and tell her that I'm coming to see her. I tell her I'll wait until one day when I see only one car here - then I'll stop and wait until she's finished with that one person. She agrees with me and she walks back outside.

    I'm sitting on the side of a bed and I'm ready to stand up, when a tall slender fellow walks in from outside. Around 30 years old, he's wearing a white tee-shirt and looks like a redneck. He's carrying a rifle which he points at the wall behind me, and fires. He then turns the rifle toward the west wall and fires again. For a moment, his actions don't even fully register with me, but when I finally realize that he's shooting holes in the white stucco walls, I order, "Get out, buddy."

    He takes offense and he fires the rifle again. I'm surprised the rifle is able to be fired so many times. As he starts to walk out a door in the rear of the building, he turns back around and points the rifle right at me. I blurt, "You crazy bastard." He turns and walks out of the building. I just sit here, feeling numb and leaning over on the bed.

    Although Collier was morally unable to be friends with a carnivore such as Fuzzyant, he found her to be one of the most enjoyable dream journalists on the internet, as well as a representation of something beautiful. He acheived his stated goal of dreaming about Fuzzyant. It was a one-sided affair, however, since Fuzzyant never published any dreams in which she dreamed about him before he published his first book of dreams of her.

    Dream of: 15 May 2014 "Uncarved Stone"

    the book of beauty

    encompasses the distant

    past and future

    I've been thinking of nothing but the book containing my dreams in which dream-writers from the Dream Journal website are actually mentioned by name. Figuring out how I'm going to arrange the book and what dreams will be in the book has almost become an obsession.

    I see before me a slab of off-white, granite-like, rectangular rock which stands perhaps four or five meters tall and perhaps two meters wide. The front looks smooth - while the sides appear rough and jagged. Standing next to the block - as tall as the block itself - is a sinuous, misty figure whose silvery, metallic surface seems to glow. I slowly realize that this figure is some form of Fuzzyant and I immediately understand that this particular dream must be included in the book of dreams which I'm writing - the book which only contains dreams in which other dream-writers actually appear by name. Unsure where I should place this dream among the dreams which I've already compiled in the book, I perceive this dream to be interesting, but problematic at the same time.

    Despite her faults, Fuzzyant herself became a thing of beauty for Collier. Fuzzyant became an object of beauty upon which Collier focused so that he could dream of her with the intention of ultimately assembling those dreams into a written work of artistic beauty which Collier called a "dream epic." I think in this particular dream epic of Fuzzyant, Collier might have compared himself to Ulysses when Ulysses - during his epic journey home - was tied to the mast of his ship so he could listen to the sirens. Collier might have imagined himself on a comparable epic journey during which he listened to the dreams in which Fuzzyant appeared.

    Dream of: 03 June 2014 "Now I Have You"

    creating beauty

    is a task only few have

    the heart to complete

    I'm looking at a scene which seems pre-Industrial Revolution. My interesting surroundings are dark as if in the inner, stone-walled corridors in the deep interior of a castle. Something about the somber and unusual ambience brings the thought of Fuzzyant to my mind, and I think how Fuzzyant and other dream-journalists sometimes enter into my dreams. As I concentrate on Fuzzyant, the phrase, "Now I have you," pops into my mind. I interpret this phrase to mean that I will now be able to begin dreaming about Fuzzyant just as I am able to dream about other dream-writers whose dreams I read.

    I also reflect that I will show other dream-writers what my dreams are like when I dream about them.

    Collier failed to establish any meaningful relationship with Fuzzyant even though he knew he wanted to dream more about her. She was the only artist about whom he had ever dreamed. Despite her being a carnivore, she was the most captivating dream journalist on the Dream Journal. Thus Collier was unpleasantly surprised when Fuzzyant ultimately went underground so that Collier could barely see her presence on the internet. At some ploint, she stopped posting her dreams and shut down her Facebook account. She gave no reason for her disappearance - she simply disappeared.

    Dream of: 14 September 2014 "Tolarance" 

     

    tolerance for the

    folly of others sometimes

    becomes unbearable

    I'm looking at the Dream Journal web site which I haven't viewed for a while. I peruse the typical listing of dreams or comments until I see the word "Tolarance" in one title. Since I think this word is in the title of one of my dreams, I conclude that this dream must be mine, and since it looks as if someone has written a comment to the dream, I think I'll see what the person said. When I click on the dream title, however, the entire page scrolls down to the bottom so that all I have left in front of me is a blank page. I scroll back down to where the dream titles are listed, and once again the listing of dream titles appears on the screen in front of me. When I once again click on the dream I want to see, the page once again disappears at the bottom of the page.

    In the process, I notice the name "Fuzzyant" on the screen, and I reflect that I haven't read any of her dreams for a while. I think I'll click on her name and read some of her dreams to see what she's been writing.

    Fuzzyant was a solitary woman who lived alone. Although in her early 40s at the time of these dreams, she had never been on a date in her entire life. Nor - as she had claimed years earlier in her online diary - had she ever wanted to go on a date. Apparently she just wanted to be left alone. Nevertheless, she did publish her dreams which were visible to every person then alive on the planet Earth. Those dreams just happened to be read by Collier, who apparently felt his duty was not only to publish his dreams online, but to compile sets of his dreams into books. Those sets centered upon a particular person, place, or thing, and in 2016, Collier thought his 16 dreams of Fuzzyant were enough to compose a set of dreams whether Fuzzyant approved of such publication or not. Collier concluded that Fuzzyant, by publishing her dreams and her works of art, had turned herself into a public figure as far as the life which she revealed in her dreams and her art was concerned.

     Dream of: 22 January 2015 "Establishing Rapport"

     

     mysterious love

    enters like a misty ghost

    which can't be trusted

    I'm in a house which belongs to Carol (a Portsmouth, Ohio-woman - my age - who is the surrogate mother of my erstwhile, young, blonde paramour, Michelle). Quite a few people whom I don't know well are mingling throughout the house, including Carol's bearded boyfriend, David. Noticing that both Carol and David appear young (as if they're each around thirty years old)  I make a comment about how youthful they appear. After Carol tells me that I also look young, I have a brief image of myself as also being about thirty years old. Sitting here in a comfortable easy chair in the living room, I enjoy being with the people here even though I haven't been talking or socializing with any of them.

    My attention is finally drawn to Fuzzyant who is sitting about two meters away from me, on the floor in the middle of the room with her legs bent back under her. She's wearing a blue outfit and appears to be a wholesome young woman about thirty years old whose long, clean, brown hair extends past her shoulders in front (similar to the color and texture of the hair which I've seen in a portrait of BlueWolf, an artistically inclined French woman whose dreams I read on the attrape-songes web-site).

    Even though I really don't know what to say to Fuzzyant, she and I manage to have an enjoyable and animated conversation about various topics. Simply being able to talk with her affords me a real pleasure that I rarely feel when I converse with people. I feel comfortable and relaxed talking with her and we develop an instantaneous, easy rapport. I rarely feel this kind of fulfilling feeling when I talk with people, but, with Fuzzyant, I don't feel as if I'm wasting my time by talking with her - the type of wasted feeling which I have when I talk with most people.

    I'm unsure what to say next when I remember something which I've wanted to ask Fuzzyant for a long time about her artwork which she publishes on the internet. I say, "Oh yea..." After explaining that I've been wanting to ask her about something in particular, I ask her if her artwork is created with a computer, or whether the artwork is created "by hand" and then scanned onto the computer. When I've seen her artwork in the past, I've had trouble discerning the physical origin of the artwork and I would like for her to clarify this for me. She answers, "It depends," and she wants to know specifically about which artwork I'm speaking.

    As Fuzzyant has been talking, she has also been scooting closer and closer to me until her face is now only about a half meter from my face on my left. She's now standing up on her knees with her face on a level with mine. Although I usually feel uncomfortable being this close to someone, I feel quite at ease with Fuzzyant.

    From where I'm sitting, I can look out the window and observe the street in front of the house. When I notice a bus full of people (possibly children) pulling up in front of the house, I fear that the bus might block the driveway where I've parked my car off to the side at the end of the driveway, and that I won't be able to leave when I want.

    Fuzzyant and I can both hear children running around the house and making noise in the background. Still standing on her knees beside me, she especially complains about "Tyrell" who has been causing a commotion in another portion of the house (perhaps the bathroom). Talking about his "throwing a fit" and how he just can't seem to be controlled, she continues, "Tyrell just keeps jumping up and down."

    I feel good being this close to Fuzzyant, as if we have an excellent rapport which engenders a strong emotional attachment and I wonder if I'm in love with Fuzzyant. Now drawn to her almost overwhelmingly, I'm reminded of the feeling I once experienced when I fell in love with a particular, delightfully intelligent woman (possibly brown-haired Vickie with whom I was in love for a short while in 1977), so I know that I've previously had this kind of feeling which I'm now experiencing with Fuzzyant. Just being here with Fuzzyant gives me such a warm and pleasant feeling that I feel as if I will always want to be close to her.

    Even though Collier had never seen Fuzzyant in person, he dreamed of having her face next to his and even though he had never spoken to her in person, he dreamed of talking with her. He saw something beautiful in her which derived from her artwork. He had never associated with anyone who produced the quality of artwork which Fuzzyant produced. He had sought out a model in his dreams and she had appeared. Maybe she was a part of the destiny toward which God had pointed him. Fuzzyant might have asked, "Why Me?" but Collier simply accepted that a piece of beauty had been set before him which he would turn into a work of art. 

    Dream of: 25 February 2015 "Why Me?" 

     

    particularly

    prize anything of beauty

    which dreams might reveal  

    Fuzzyant and I are lying next to each other, but not actually touching. It seems as if we have a tent-like cover over us, but there's still enough light so I can dimly detect her presence without clearly seeing her. Lying next to her is quite a pleasant experience. Although I don't really understand this feeling, I feel as if I have an uncanny and unique rapport with her. I reflect that the feeling is somewhat similar to the feeling I've experienced on numerous occasions in my life when I've been in love with someone and when an inexplicably pleasant feeling overtakes me, but this feeling I have for Fuzzyant is not exactly like that.

    Fuzzyant understands that I have this feeling for her, and it seems to me that she hasn't ruled out reciprocating the emotion, although she is very hesitant to do so. She has barriers, but she seems as if she may be willing to lower those barriers. She's uncertain. Even though she's aware that I'm expressing my feelings, she's unsure whether my feelings are genuine. Although she remains uncertain and unclear, she seems to appreciate what I'm telling her, and she asks, "Why me?"

    I don't really understand it myself. I simply know that I have these feelings for her which simply make me want to be close to her. I didn't consciously create these feelings - they simply came to me. I answer, "I don't know. I find you ... beautiful."

    I'm unsure that "beautiful" is the right word, but it seems like the best word I can think of at the moment. I would like to explain that I'm talking about beauty in some abstract sense and not necessarily physical beauty. Since I've only seen pictures of Fuzzyant, I'm not even completely sure what she would look like in person, but I think her appearance would be more than tolerable. Still trying to explain what I'm saying, I start out, "Even though I've never seen you in person ..."

    Collier's primary aim was to create something beautiful which people would treasure reading. That is not to say that he did not relate with the subjects about whom he wrote. He most certainly related with Fuzzyant. His main objective, however, was not the actual relationship between himself and his subjects, but rather the work of art which he could create by assembling the dreams which he had about any particular subject. He succeeded with Fuzzyant. She was the inspiration for his books about her in which he thought he was following the will of God and creating a work of beauty.

    Dream of: 13 June 2015 (2) "The Touch"

    stealing another's

    beauty may be permitted

    when necessary 

    I'm thinking about Fuzzyant who I think lives with her mother. She has created something on a piece of paper which resembles the colorful - purple and blue predominates - page of a comic book. I want to see this paper, but she's keeping it in her house where I have no access. After I decide that I definitely want to see the paper anyway, I manage to go to Fuzzyant's house, enter, take the sheet of paper, and leave.

    I wonder what Fuzzyant will think when she awakens and finds the paper missing. At first she will simply think that she has misplaced it. She'll look under her bed and everywhere. The missing paper will be quite a mystery for her. When she is ultimately unable to locate the paper, she may come to suspect that someone entered the house and took the paper.

    I think she will finally realize that I was the one who took the paper, but she won't have any evidence. Even though she will know who took the paper, she won't be able to prove it. Suddenly, however, I realize that I had once seen somewhere a recording which Fuzzyant had made from a video camera which she had at her house. Now I realize that the camera probably caught me when I entered her house. When she reviews the video, she will see that I was the one who entered her house and took this paper. This will definitely cause many problems.

    As I'm reviewing the situation in my thoughts, I think that I still have some control over the whole situation. I think that I haven't yet actually taken the paper and that I'm still in the planning stages of doing so. As I plan, I begin thinking that when I take the paper, I will wear a mask. If I have a mask, Fuzzyant won't be able to recognize me in the video.

    As I think about the heist, I conclude that the paper is kept in Fuzzyant's bedroom and that I will have to enter her bedroom. When I'm in her bedroom, I may stand over her bed and look straight at her sleeping body. I can see her sleeping tranquilly on her side with her head on the pillow. I wonder what she would think if she were to wake up and see me standing over her in my mask. I think I might even touch her leg with the tip of my right forefinger - not sexually, but just a quick touch for a second to feel the bare skin of her leg.

    As I continue to watch the drama unfold, I see myself leaving the bedroom with the paper. I've also rolled up something which looks like a floor-mat for sleeping on which has a colorful maroon, quilt-like pattern in the middle of the rolled-up mat.

    When I reach the door, Fuzzyant is standing there watching me. Although she has obviously discovered me, she's simply watching me and isn't hysterical. I'm simply going to walk out the door.

    Collier theorized that all dreams contained messages from God. If a person can trust anything in life, it is one's dreams. Trusting the messages in dreams seemed to be essential in order to implement the advice in those messages. If one is unsure where the dreams originate, one tends to be dubious of the meaning of dreams. If, however, one accepts that all dreams are created by a benevolent God and that all dreams contain positive messages, then following the advice in the messages found in God-created dreams becomes much easier.

    Collier knew from the beginning of his association with Fuzzyant that his objective was to include her in a book which he intended to someday write about the Dream Journal. That Fuzzyant might not be in complete accord with such a book might cause problems, but would not deter Collier from doing what he felt God wanted him to do.  

    Dream of: 17 June 2016 "Feeling My Tears"   

    genuine beauty

    should be sought with conviction

    and alacrity

    I have completely fallen in love with a woman with whom I have become acquainted. In the vaguest way, she reminds me of Fuzzyant. She has left me and I did not think that I was ever going to see her again. Now, however, she has returned and she's sitting next to me on my right so close to me that our cheeks are touching. Just being next to her feels so good that tears start forming in my right eye and rolling down my cheek. I am sure that she can feel the tears and that she is aware of the affection that I have for her. When she asks me something about how I'm going to be with her, I reply, "I can't see myself ever trying to get away, so I guess that's up to you."

    She sits there without answering. Since she does not pull away, I have the feeling that she is going to stay with me.

    God is the creator of all dreams and all dreams have a beneficial message. When Collier assembled his Fuzzyant dreams, he came to the conclusion that the central, beneficial message of the dreams was to "love sexless beauty." Collier believed Fuzzyant had helped him replace his lust for sex with a love for beauty.

    Dream of: 22 July 2016 "One Can Dream"

    the nature of love

    is sometimes discussed at length

    in the course of dreams 

    I have had a dream in which I have told Fuzzyant that I love her. Then I read either a dream or a comment written by Fuzzyant in which she questions whether I love her. Now I seem to have had yet another dream in which I have been thinking about writing back to Fuzzyant to answer her question. As I ponder the nature of love and what I have experienced, I think about the meaning of love and how I can best explain what I'm talking about to Fuzzyant. At first I'm only thinking of love in an abstract sense, but then I start wondering if I'm actually in love with Fuzzyant. I even wonder what living with Fuzzyant would be like and I vaguely imagine her sitting in a living room. The place seems pleasant enough in my imagination, but not like something real, and does not seem to illustrate what I have in mind. I think I might be able to best explain to Fuzzyant what I'm experiencing by using what seems like a famous phrase which I seem to have heard somewhere to describe something which may exist in the imagination, but not in reality: "One can dream."

    Collier came to conclude that Fuzzyant might symbolize artistic beauty. As flawed as Fuzzyant was, she was still able to create beautiful works of art.

    Dream of: 09 August 2016 "Unusual Method Of Communication"

    beauty may thrive in

    unusual methods of

    communication

    While I'm lying in my bed and communicating with Fuzzyant on the phone, I notice that her arm has materialized on my bed by somehow passing through the phone. The fingers of her hand are touching objects lying on my bed amid a couple remote controls and some other things. I'm not wild about the idea of Fuzzyant's touching my stuff here.

    I'm also able to reach my arm into her bed and touch things there, but I'm unsure that I even want to do that.

    Collier completed his short book of Fuzzyant-dreams in 2016. I will - 70 years later - here conclude my book of Fuzzyant-dreams. Collier felt satisfied with what he had accomplished at that point. He had intended to dream about someone who wrote dreams on the internet and then to assemble those dreams together into a book. He achieved his goal. He was happy to have been able to find an artistic soul upon which to concentrate and he was happy to confirm his own love of the creation of beauty.

    by Frank Whitfield

    Paris, France

    12 September 2086

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