Dream of: 30 October 2020 "Wrestling With The Disabled"
I am probably in my mid-teens. I have found an old, abandoned house and fixed up a back room as a nice place with painted walls where I can hang out. I bring in a couch and set it against one wall. I also have a comfortable easy chair and a bed in the room.
After I sit down in the easy chair, a fellow walks into the room, and then a second fellow walks in. All of us are about the same age. I think these are fellows with whom I am going to hang out here.
Sitting in the easy chair, I start to feel a little too warm. I think of opening the back door which is to my right, but then I realize that an electric heater is sitting to my left and is turned on. I think I can reach over and turn off the heater, but I just sit here without doing so because I do not know what the other two fellows would think if I turned off the heater.
The second fellow starts acting a bit obnoxious and roughhouses around with the first fellow who is lying on the bed. The second fellow even pushes the mattress up from the bed. I think to myself that this is the kind of kid who is allowed to go wild by his parents. His parents probably do not even want him with them because he is so destructive. The fellow wrestles aggressively with another person in the room, then finally sits down.
When I look back at the bed, I see that the mattress has disappeared and only the metal frame of the bed is left. I do not know what happened to the mattress. I am surprised to see lying on the floor, inside the metal frame, my brother Chris (1957-1974) who is probably only 10-11 years old. The second fellow says that he is going to go to Chris and wrestle with him. Knowing that Chris has muscular dystrophy, I think something like, "Chris can't do that. Chris can't even move."
Chris looks rather helpless lying there on the floor like that.
Commentary of 31 October 2020
I am currently trying to dream about the novel "Cien Años de Soledad" which contains ghosts somewhat the way my brother Chris seems like a ghost in my dreams. Where are the souls of those who have passed on before us? Yes, it is possible that they can communicate with us in our dreams. Either the dead live as spirits or they are reincarnated in another body. There are no other choices, except souls are both reincarnated and live as disembodied spirits, or that souls completely disappear when the body dies. I still have this question in my mind as to why Chris was fated to be born with muscular dystrophy. Karma? I have often thought of Chris as an angel in my dreams. I have never quite understood the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel but I suddenly see wrestling with an angel as a metaphor for strugling against God.
death is patiently
waiting to lead us by hand
to the promised land
Picture: My brother Chris Collier around 1967 when he was 10-11 years old.
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