Dream of: 18 October 2020 "Child Abandonment"
I have gone to court. I have six or seven of my own children with me. The judge (who somewhat resembles deceased bankruptcy judge Harold Abramson) is sitting on the bench. The children are sitting in chairs behind the judge. The court room is full. I wait and wait. Finally, I simply walk out alone.
It is Friday and I already have tickets to go to the Caribbean. I am unsure where my wife is. I go to the Caribbean, spend the weekend, and simply forget about the children. When I return, I realize what I have done, that I have walked off and left the children in the courtroom. Now, I know that I have to return to the court and face the judge.
I walk into the courtroom. The judge is not yet on the bench, but the courtroom is filled with people. Many Hispanics seem to be present. I wait and wait, then finally sit down. I begin to feel uneasy because I realize that I could be charged with a criminal offense: abandonment of the children. I had not even thought about that possibility. I start feeling very sick in my stomach. I am afraid of what is going to happen to me.
I reflect that I have other obligations to which I need to attend. I know that I have parked my big black car in the parking lot and I am unsure whether I left anything in the car. I think that I will probably be put in jail and that my car will be left sitting there. I almost feel as if I am going to vomit.
I think maybe I should just leave—I could go on the run. I could go to Mexico—except I do not have a passport. I do not know why I have delayed in obtaining a passport. I need a passport, but not having a passport will probably not be important because a warrant will probably be put out for my arrest and I will not be able to enter Mexico anyway without being arrested. I could just go on the run within the country, go underground. Many people have warrants for their arrest and are able to survive. I think I may do that, although going on the run just does not seem like such a good idea.
And then there are the children. But I do not really want the children! As far as I am concerned, the court can take the children and place them in a home somewhere. I just want to be free.
A woman finally walks up to me, cups her hands on my head and turns me around. I know that she works for the court and has come to take me up to the judge. I stand up to follow her to the judge.
I reflect that I used to know this judge and that he never liked me. I think this is probably going to turn out real bad.
Commentary of 23 October 2020
I have written two dreams in my life in which Gabriel Garcia Marquez has been mentioned. I am trying to have one more dream of him and then tie those three dreams together into a little story. So right now I am incubating the novel "Cien Años de Soledad." My goal is to have a dream in which that novel is mentioned. Going to the Caribbean and thinking of escaping to Mexico makes me think of the way I escape to Colombia when I read the novel.
human accepts when the day
of judgment has come
Picture: Caribbean, 1794
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