Dream of: 27 September 2020 "Painful Guilt"  

I am in a car while my mother (1931-2015) is in another car. We are going to travel somewhere together in our separate cars. I start driving on a paved road through hills and trees (similar to heading northeast on state highway 140 between Sciotodale and Oak Hill, Ohio). It vaguely seems as if we are headed toward the home of my great paternal aunt Edna and my great paternal uncle Oscar. I have not seen either of them in a long time (both have been dead for many years).

The farther I continue, the more concerned I become that I may have lost my mother. I think perhaps I should pull over and wait for her. I know that she is driving a black car which I think I should be able to identify when she passes me.

As I continue driving, up ahead of me, I suddenly see something lying on my side of the road. I can tell that it is an animal which has been hit. I swerve over into the left lane to miss hitting it. As I pass the creature, I conclude that the animal is a huge raccoon—perhaps twice normal size. I see the animal has blacks stripes around its tail ... which confirms my conclusion that the animal is a raccoon, since I think raccoons have stripes around their tails.

I continue driving the winding country road until I suddenly see a car stopped up ahead of me in my lane. I see that another stricken animal is lying in the road in front of the car. I think it is probably another raccoon and I wonder if a family of raccoons is living in this area.

I do not have time to slow down, and I do not want to swerve into the left lane because I do not have good visibility of the traffic in that lane. So, instead, I swerve into the green ditch on the right side of the road and pass the stopped car and the downed animal by riding along in the ditch.

As I pass the animal, I realize that it is not a raccoon at all, but a large tiger. I try to see its orange, stripped coat, but the scene seems to be in black and white and I only see black stripes on a white background.

Once I pass the tiger and manage to drive back onto the road, I start feeling guilty about the tiger and I experience a quick stab of pain as I commiserate with the tiger. I feel so utterly awful to see such a beautiful creature lying and suffering in the road like that. Plus, I wonder if there was something I could have done and whether I should have stopped to try to help the tiger.

These thoughts are the source of my painful guilt.

Commentary of 27 September 2020

For the past couple days I have broken away from incubating movies, and have incubated "Global Healing" in conjunction with the group "350 Dreamers." I did not record a dream night before last—the target date of the group incubation—but I concentrated again last night and I think I hit the mark with this dream. I think I look at extinction of many species in the world as the main sickness in the world today and I feel guilty because I am not doing anything to stop it.

Tonight I am going to incubate the 2014 movie "Interstellar."  

guilt may be such an

unpleasant emotion that

one may change one's self

Picture:  Bengal tiger (Panthera tigris tigris) female, Kanha National Park, India

Author: Charles J Sharp

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