Dream of: 19 May 2020 "Loading A Shotgun"   

I am at the Gallia County Farmhouse where I have been storing some of my possessions for a long time, but where someone else is now moving in so that I must clear out my stuff. At first I am unsure who is moving in, but then I see my maternal grandmother Leacy (1901-1972). I finish moving all my stuff out of the first and second floors, but now I have to contend with a large basement where I have also stored some of my possessions.

I descend to the basement and look around. At first, I had not thought that much was down here, but now that I look closer, I see that I still have much to move out.

When I hear some commotion upstairs, I ascend the stairs and find that a man (around 60 years old) has showed up. He has used a shotgun to shoot and kill my paternal step-grandfather, Clarence(1916-1993), who is slumped over dead in a chair.

I find the shotgun and pick it up. It is in two parts: the plastic, yellow stock and the rest of the gun. I want to defend myself against this man with the gun, but the two parts of the gun will not stay together. I finally manage to put the gun together. I find two shotgun shells and stick them into the gun. When I close the gun, however, one of the shells pops out and I have to find another shell to take its place. The man steps up in front of me just as I close the gun. I point the gun at him and say, "Stay away!"

He walks toward me as I back away. I keep telling him to stay away or I will shoot him. I shout out, "You shot my grandfather!"

I continue to back away. I do not want to shoot him if I can help it. Nevertheless, I am going to have to defend myself here.

Commentary of 20 May 2020

I wish I could find genuine peace of mind before I die.

life is a constant

struggle for those who fail to

search their lives for peace

Picture: My paternal step-grandfather, Clarence Stevens, 1945

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