Dream of: 18 June 2019 "The Value Of Lucidity"
I seem to be with many other people in the basement of a house which once belonged to my mother (1931-2014). I look in front of me to my right and I see my mother sitting on a bench with her back to the wall. She is thin, has white hair, and is probably in her early 70s. She is eating some food from a bowl. She seems happy, and I am happy to see her.
Suddenly, however, I remember that my mother is dead. I cannot be seeing her - how is that possible? Abruptly, I realize that I must be dreaming.
My mother stands up and walks through a crowd away from me in the tenebrous basement. Since I want to talk with her, I stand up and follow. I think I may be dreaming, but everything seems so real. Having grave difficulty believing that I am having a lucid dream, I think, "This cannot be possible. I cannot possibly be dreaming."
Nevertheless, I decide to accept the idea that I am dreaming, and to go with the flow because it does not make sense that I would see my dead mother if I were awake. The only conclusion I can reach is that I am dreaming.
As I continue walking in the direction where my mother disappeared, I hear a thumping noise which seems to be emanating from other people elsewhere in the house, and I realize that I do not know where I am. My uncertainty of my location seems to be another indication that I am dreaming. I conclude that I must be lucid because I do not know where I am.
Now I am lucid and I know that I am dreaming. As I walk along, I contemplate that this dream and my lucidity seem to be lasting for quite a while, and the longer the dream lasts, the more certain I become that I am dreaming. Too much is happening. If I were awake, I would not be aware of everything which I am now experiencing.
I become aware that my dream seems to be proceeding in disjointed segments. First I will do one thing, then I will do something unrelated. Since this sort of jagged progression does not seem to comport with reality, I become even more convinced that I am actually dreaming. I know that I have a tenuous hold on the dream and that I could awaken at any time. At the same time, I feel calm and peaceful, as if I can continue dreaming if I want to without being disturbed.
It seems however, that not much is happening and that the dream is rather pointless. I wonder what could happen. Maybe being in a war on a battlefield would be better, but I do not really want to do that. There must be something important that I should be doing. Maybe something pertaining to government, making changes, passing legislation. Finally, I think maybe I should think of God. I try to think of God, but nothing of significance occurs.
I begin thinking that being lucid is no different from being awake. I am having the same kind of thoughts that I would have if I were awake. So what is the value of lucidity? Nevertheless, since I want to remember what is happening here, I concentrate on some things so that I will be able remember them. I know that if I continue dreaming for too long, however, I will begin to forget some of my experiences, and I want to later remember as much of this dream as I can.
I finally do not know where I am. I seem to be simply walking around somewhere outside. It seems that my not knowing where I am is also an indication that I am dreaming.
I begin to reflect that I do not have any goals to accomplish when I am lucid. I remember that some people who post their dreams on the French, dream-sharing website "Attrape-songes" have definite goals to achieve when they are lucid. I myself have not made any preparations like those French dreamers. I think I have no goals for when I lucid dream. Then, however, I think about Mairita (an internet dream journalist) and I recall that I had thought that I would like to dream about Mairita if I were to have a lucid dream. I start trying to focus on her, but I have difficulty doing so, and my thoughts of Mairita proceed no further.
It seems that my real goal, when having a lucid dream, is to speak to someone from the "other world," someone like my mother. Maybe I should have focused more on talking with her.
Unsure what to do next, I feel something move beside me in the bed. I realize that my pet Pomeranian, Sparky, has moved and that I am in my bed in my home. I think that I must be awake now.
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