Dream of: 10 December 2007 "Crapule"

While I was at an apartment where Michelle was living, I helped her clean out a big long closet. She stepped out of the closet, and as I waited for her to return, other people began showing up and they also waited in the closet for Michelle. I counted 13 people, including young children. I wondered how they had fit into the apartment before the closet had been cleaned out.

When Michelle finally returned to the closet, she was much more animated than she had been when she had left. Wearing a silky gray shirt, she seemed happy, but she looked unhealthy and thinner than usual. She was carrying some food (which didn't look nutritious) and a Mountain Dew for one of the kids.

She and I walked out of the closet into the living room and we sat down next to each other on a couch. I thought she was sitting too close to me, considering how many people were in the apartment.

Judging from her ebullient exuberance, I quickly concluded she had taken a drug. When I asked her what she had taken, she dissembled that she hadn't taken any drugs, but when we scooted off the couch onto the floor, she admitted she had taken 12 milligrams of a drug called "crapule," which apparently was the same as cocaine.

I had seen enough. I stood up and headed toward the door. As I was ready to leave, I said to her, "I'll see you some day."

I wanted my statement to be vague, to imply that I didn't know when I would see her. I felt as if I just had to get away from her. Obviously she was again taking drugs all the time and I simply didn't want to be around her. At the same time, I felt a little guilty for having tricked her into confessing, and then immediately abandoning her. I felt as if I were somehow betraying her. I didn't really want to leave, but I abhorred seeing her on drugs all the time.

She was obviously upset that I was leaving and she said something about my getting "a long face." Just as I was about to walk out the door, she bawled, "I lost twelve pounds! I lost twelve pounds!"

She seemed to think her losing the weight was some kind of accomplishment. I had to admit, she looked thinner, but I continued out the door. 

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