Dream of: 25 October 2007 (4) "Heart Examination"

I was in an appealing brick house where my mother was living. While she and I were in the living room, my father showed up and sat down. Although he and I hadn't been talking lately, a conversation ensued, and he indicated he wanted to know why I was so angry with him. He couldn't understand it.

He said he knew I thought he was evil. I knew I had dreamed about his being evil, and I thought someone must have told him about those dreams, although I wasn't quite sure how the word had circulated back to him. Obviously he was bothered that I would think him evil.

I decided it was time to tell him why I thought he was evil. Sitting straight across from him, I looked at him and told him that he had "destroyed the beauty" of the Gallia County Farm because he had allowed the two sons of my step-mother (his third wife) to cut down all the beautiful trees on the Farm and reap the profit from the lumber. I told him I couldn't understand how he could have destroyed the Farm after he had always implied his family would inherit it. How could he have devastated the Farm for the benefit of my step-mother's children?

I could only see one possible justification for his having cut the trees: it was possible he planned to drill for oil on the Farm. If so, cutting the trees before drilling would make sense.

I knew by calling him evil, I would be cut out of any benefits from the oil. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to take that chance and to say what I thought. I stood up and told him I knew he had never intended to give me anything. I thought of pointing out that he had given me practically nothing in my life. I reflected on the red Honda Dream Motorcycle he had once given me, but I didn't want to bring up the motorcycle. Instead, I decided to talk of the things I still had which he had given me. I told him I only had two possessions which he had ever given me: a little pocket knife like the ones he handed out to customers in his car-port business; and an old pocket watch which had once belonged to his father, my grandfather Cole. Those were the only two items I had received from him.

He seemed surprised by what I had said, but he finally seemed to understand my anger.

I stood up and walked out of the house. It was raining outside. I walked around the block in the rain, then returned to the house, but remained outside. I thought I might go up into the attic and hide back in the recesses so I wouldn't have to be in contact with my father. I wondered what would happen if my parents came to the attic to look for me and if I jumped out of my hiding place and scared them. Fearing I might cause them to have a heart attack, I decided I probably shouldn't try that.

I sought shelter from the rain under a long wooden deck attached to the back of the house. As I sat in the grass under the deck, I could hear my parents inside, still talking about our problems. When they finally walked outside onto the deck up above me and hollered for me, I stepped out from under the deck to where my father could see me. He didn't look exactly like my father. He was probably in his mid 60s, stout and heavy (but not as fat as usual), and he looked a bit like the narrator from the movie, Rocky Horror Picture Show.

He walked down to where I was. In one hand I was holding a buckeye and a round piece of cardboard about the size of a bottle cap. When I raised my hand as if I were going to throw the buckeye (I only intended to throw the buckeye on the ground), my father mistakenly thought I intended to throw the buckeye at him. Frightened by my actions, he jumped back and started walking away. After I threw the buckeye and the piece of cardboard on the ground so he could see what I had, he realized he had misinterpreted my action and he walked back to me.

I wanted to leave again. I started walking way, but he walked along beside me. Suddenly he blurted out that he would go 50-50 with me on the Farm (apparently indicating his willingness to give me half the Farm). I burst out crying that he had already destroyed the Farm and I sobbed, "You destroyed the beauty."

At the same time, I thought 50% wouldn't be bad - at least I would have something. Immediately I also began thinking about my new young girlfriend, Michelle, who I thought would be impressed to see me owning 50% of a big farm.

My father and I were walking straight toward a hedgerow of bushes. Just as I reached the bushes, he said he would give me 50% of the Farm in December if I would "demonstrate my love" for him right now. I wasn't sure I could do that, even though I wanted the 50%.

He brought up Michelle (whom he called "Vickie") and he said I was on the "poor boy's circuit." He was implying that although I wasn't that poor, I acted as if I were poor. He said Michelle, however, had realized I wasn't poor.

He added yet another condition to my receiving 50% of the Farm. He said he would have to wait until December to see if Michelle had tuberculosis.

He made another condition pertaining to Michelle. As he spoke, he gave the Farm a name which I didn't fully understand: "________ Fountain." He said, "I will call the _____  experts to _____ Fountain." I couldn't understand the word before experts and he had to repeat the sentence three times until I finally understood he was saying, "I will call the heart experts to ________ Fountain." Clearly he meant he wanted to have Michelle's heart examined before he would give me a 50% interest in the Farm. I couldn't figure out why my father would want to check Michelle's heart.

Obviously, however, he wanted to check Michelle out. Apparently he didn't think she really cared about me and he wanted to have her heart examined. He clearly wanted to make sure about Michelle before giving me an interest in the Farm.

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