Dream of: 23January 2006 (2) "Separation"
I had parked my car at the Dallas airport and was now trying to catch a bus from the airport to Dallas to meet Carolina at the home where she was living. She was supposed to accompany me to my class reunion which was scheduled to be held in a hotel in Dallas. I planned to wear a suit, but thought I should also stop and buy some swimming trunks to take with me. I would have to hurry because the reunion was supposed to start around noon and it was already about 11:30.
I had a problem catching a bus: I found buses, but they weren't the right ones. I labored along intricate passageways and tunnels, seeking the bus to Dallas. As I hurried past a plate glass window, I could clearly see myself running. I looked fit and thin, and I thought I would cut an impressive figure at the reunion.
I did have another problem: Carolina and I had separated. I reflected that she and I would have a chance to talk about our separation during our hour-long drive to the reunion. I suspected she had been seeing another man and I specifically intended to ask her if she had had sex with him. I suspected she had. I was a bit distraught that our relationship had deteriorated to this point with no explanation from her. I felt as if she owed me an explanation, which she should be able to provide during our ride to the reunion.
I wished now, however, that I hadn't decided to leave my car here at the airport. I wasn't even sure how we were going to travel from her house to the reunion - by car or by bus. I wished I could go back now and get my car, but I wasn't even sure where I had parked. I knew I could eventually find the car, but I didn't have time to look for it right now. No information booths were in sight anywhere.
I walked down one passage only to discover a plane boarding for London. A man (about 40 years old) walked by me, carrying his luggage to board the plane. I thought how invigorating that would be, to fly around to different places like London. I, unfortunately did not live that kind of life.
I continued searching for the bus, more intent that ever on having the conversation with Carolina. I reflected that when she and I had first separated, I had thought the separation was a good idea. But now that I had stopped to consider the fact that we had been together for 17 years, the abruptness of the separation was giving me cause to pause. I was unsure how Carolina felt, but I was uncertain I actually wanted to permanently separate.
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